Picture the scene. You are a young, eager band poised and ready to take the world by storm.
Today you get to see your album artwork for the first time.
This is the artistic statement you make to the world.
This is the means by which you grab people's attention
and make them want to part with their hard-earned money.
This is the point where maybe some bands really ought to have said "Are you having a laugh?"
Conquest Of Steel - Hammer & Fist (UK 2007)
It's like somebody tried to draw Red Sonja while on a bad trip. And with broken fingers.
Attila - Rolling Thunder (USA 1986)
Cool idea but could have been done better
Zion - Thunder From The Mountain (USA 1989)
Zion were Christian rockers so the cover may well represent Good v Evil.
I don't know why the big dragon has a cock growing out of his head, though
Helter Skelter - Welcome to the world of Helter Skelter (Germany 1988)
Ok, so they weren't too serious but damn, that cover makes them look like goofballs
Here's the back cover.
Not much of an improvement.
Split Beaver - When Hell Won't Have You (UK 1982)
As if the name alone wasn't a handicap. A Sleaze Metal band from LA might have got away with it .
A band from Wolverhampton? No chance.
Oh and the album cover aims at "Sexy" and misses by a mile
I should mention once again that crap artwork does not equal crap band. Some of these guys deserved so much better.
Split Beaver...LOL. I've seen high school artwork more professional-looking than most of these album covers!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to believe that something as bad as the Hammer and Fist cover could have been put out in 2007. Seriously, by then you could just rip awesome photos from the web and photoshop your own killer artwork.
ReplyDeleteThey are all terrible to say the least. I'm still in tears laughing at Split Beaver, that title conjures up some thoughts.
ReplyDelete