Tuesday 27 November 2012

Terrible Metal Album Covers - Chapter 8

Time for another sampling of album covers that attract attention for all the wrong reasons. As always,
crappy cover does not equal crappy band.  Warning: Contains big-ass spiders.

Morrigan - Forgodden Art (Germany 1999)

Badly drawn and the lettering artist can't spell either. Marvellous.
The obvious question is: what's the horse looking at that's got him so nervous?


 Axevyper - Angel D-Acciaio EP (Italy 2011)

Terrible metal album cover
 Apparently drawn by a 14 year old who likes D&D.

V/A -Metallic Storm (UK 1982)

Awful metal album cover
 I have this one and there's some good stuff on it.
Shame about the cover. 
Extra points for including a band called "Pentapus"

????? -??????? (Russian? I dunno) 

Dire metal album cover
Anybody out there who can read Cyrillic and can tell me who the hell this is by? 
There's a lot of band covers that use Photoshop these days.
 This is a good example of how not to do it.

Brute Forcz - Out For blood (USA 2011)

Leaving aside the question of how you're meant to pronounce the band name - I tried and sprained my tongue - what we have here is a dire warning. Take dodgy steroids that turned out to be radioactive and your arm will swell to enormous size then break free and go on a  rampage. 

 Fog Of War - (USA 2009)


Terrible metal album cover giant spider
If the artist wanted to give me nightmares he did a good job. 

Adrian - One Step Into The Uncertain (Germany 1987)


bad metal album cover giant spider
I don't have a phobia about spiders.
What I do have, thanks to certain films and an early 2000AD storyline, is an absolute terror of being trapped in a web while a giant spider inches closer and closer...
So, whoever the artist on this one is - thanks a bunch you git. 

Focus Indulgenes - Hic Sunt Leones (Italy 2011)

 

  According to Google "Hic Sunt Leones" means "Here be Dragons"
So why am I looking at a sad man dressed as a banana?
Answers on a postcard and..send them to somebody else as I really don't care that much.
  
and finally

Heavenly - Carpe Diem (France 2009)

Tacky metal album cover  boobs.
You have to admit that the artist is really talented but I can't help feeling that 
they just lifted a pic from one of those semi-porn, fantasy art collections and slapped  a logo on it.
Tacky, much?

You're still looking at the blonde's tits aren't you?

That's it for now. I'm going to go off and try not to think about spiders so I'll see you next time.

2 comments:

  1. Another great batch of hideous album artwork. I keep going back to the Crying Banana Man...WTF?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well yes. For such a minimalist cover there's an awful lot of oddness going on there.

      Delete

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