Wednesday 27 April 2016

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: More Blood And Steel

 Since I still have a pile of "Warrior Women" themed album covers I thought I'd dish up a second helping.

 Hope you like them.

  Stream - Chasin' The Dragon (USA 2005)

 This fight doesn't seem particularly fair.  He's got full plate armour and a frigging dragon. 
 Blondie, on the other hand, has a tabard that doesn't fit properly and a lot of self-confidence. 
My money's on her, mainly because it looks like she's just about to stab that Nazgul wanker in the bollocks. .

The band doesn't seem to have any music on Youtube, sadly. 

Burning Vision - Positive Forces (Austria 1987)

Now what does this cover remind me of...?
Oh yes. This B-Movie cult classic.
Image found on: http://wrongsideoftheart.com/
Please don't ask me why there's a disco-ball made of brains on this album cover. It was the 80s.

As an aside, I did watch "She" again in hopes of getting a review out of it but when it was all over my notes read like this 
1. Sandahl Bergman would have made a much better Red Sonja that Brigitte Neilsen
2.  ...Dafuq did I just watch?  
It's an odd movie, to say the least.



Hrom - Queen Of Steel EP (Canada 2012)

The Queen walks away from another battlefield, victorious but a little annoyed.
The shop promised they'd have the rest of her armour ready for the battle and when she went to collect it, the buggers had gone off on holiday.
Somebody is getting a morningstar facial, mark my words.



Band website here: https://hromcan.bandcamp.com/

Twilightning - Delirium Veil (Finland 2003)

There seems to be two versions of this album around but this one has an elf-girl with a sword  so I'm going to use it. 
One of these days somebody is going to explain to my satisfaction exactly why so many fantasy females have a thing about massive shoulder-guards. 
She could easily wear that thing as a breastplate after all. It's damn near big enough.



Dexter Ward - Rendezvous With Destiny (Greece 2016)
The better album covers make you ask questions. What's the story here?" usually. 
Am I the only one who wants to know what a post-apocalypse amazon is doing on the moon and singularly failing to die of oxygen deprivation? 
I like this cover. It's nicely done and she has this air of ""Don't screw with me." that's always a delight.




Leather Synn - Honour And Freedom Single (Portugal 2015)


I was going to make a joke about tit-tape but she looks like she knows how to use that broadsword so..um...let's not.





And finally: 

Damned Nation -  Road Of Desire (Sweden 1999)

Sometimes even the most ferocious sword-maiden has to stop awhile and smell the flowers. 



And on that note, we shall take our leave of these fantastic lands and come back to the
grey, rainy mundane world. With bills to pay and Britains Got Talent back on TV...
Oh...Bollocks.

That's all folks. 

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