Saturday 11 March 2017

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: On Heavenly Wings.

  Hello and welcome to another edition of Heavy Metal Cover Girls. A series where I look at Rock & Metal album covers starring attractive young women, usually wearing something impractical.

 As of the last time I checked, I've done 70+ of these so far and still have hundreds more covers to post, so whenever I'm running short on ideas I can always whip out a bunch of buxom, metallic amazons waving broadswords about.

 I could post album covers with landscape paintings, or Vikings, or fighter jets but frankly I'd rather post a cover that has landscape + pretty girl, pretty girl flying a fighter or pretty girl who is also a Viking.
Shrugs. Everybody has their interests. This is one of mine.

  I realise the intro was a little longer than usual but there's a reason for that:

As happens a lot, I had no idea what the theme was going to be until just now.  

 I have decided that today's theme is going to be those heavenly enforcers of Divine will, those protectors and punishers of Humanity, those women who find it impossible to get bras that fit properly due to certain anatomical peculiarities... Angels.

Age Of Dust - Messenger In A Soulless World (Spain 2015)

 

  This is one of the nice, New Testament angels so nobody is getting smited this time around. 
Having said that, if a glowing woman with wings pops up while you're on a snowy mountaintop somebody is probably in trouble
 ... and I'm afraid it's you.  


 Huis - Despite Guardian Angels (Canada 2014)

   I rather like this particular cover. It's a nice bit of artwork and the angel looks like somebody you might actually want to meet. 
One slight problem I have is that there's a Belgian pub down the road called "Huis" so 
I see this cover and immediately start thinking about cold, delicious beer. 


Karelia - Usual Tragedy (France 2003)

    Some covers are telling a little bit of a story. The story here is : what made this angel want to quit the job forever?  
Love?  Despair? Not being able to wear nice dresses that actually cover her boobs?   


 Now Or Never - S/T (Denmark/Switzerland/France 2013)


   You're trying to work out whether she's topless as well, aren't you? 

 It's always nice when a band has some continuity in their album covers so the follow-up also has an angel. 

Now Or Never - II (2016)

  She's not having a good day is she? Poor thing. 


   Sex Slaves - Wasted Angel (USA 2009)

   Not exactly fallen angels. More like angels that saw the human concept of "Saturday Night" and decided to take it back upstairs. 
Now technically those wings wouldn't support a pelican, let alone a human.
It also bothers me sometimes that the weight distribution on a humanoid is entirely wrong for avian wings. 
The musculature is right off too. 
Then I remember that angels are entirely fictional and if they were real would be flying by magic and stuff.  
So physics and biology can bollocks.   


 I put the next two up because of something that struck me while I was putting the pics together. Can you spot it? 

Frozen Tears - Metal Hurricane (Italy 2004)



Enemy - Life Is A Dream (Slovakia 2004) 


Hmm. That's all I'm going to say. Hmm. 



Medina Azahara - Paraiso Prohibido (Spain 2016)

 I think she's been partying too hard with the Sex Slaves gals.
We've all been there. Wake up the next day it's "Where the hell am? Where are my shoes and why is there a snake giving me the eye?"


I'm going to try something a bit different this time around and put all the music at the bottom. Hope you like it. 

  Age of Dust are Symphonic Metal. 


Huis are Prog Rock.



Karelia are bombastic Power Metal 
Apparently this is a Concept Album so I am intrigued.



Now Or Never are a lot heavier than I was expecting! 

Sex Slaves are not the hair metal crew I was expecting either.

Frozen Tears are crunchy HM.



I can't find anything for Enemy, sadly. 

Medina Azahara are 70s influenced Hard Rock 
This is one of their older songs. 



That's all folks!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Dale, I'm sorry to have been pre-occupied with finishing my latest book for the last couple of months and haven't had a chance to get back to things in general such as your blog. Yes, a heavenly cover image is good, but is it a little contradictory for the big, bad world of metal!? Anyways, can you email me on neilkillion@gmail.com some time as I'd like to explain a bit about my book and a couple of other things, Cheers Mate, Neil

    ReplyDelete

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