Sunday, 25 June 2017

Film Review: Hunters of The Golden Cobra (1982)


Genre: Adventure/ "Raiders of the Lost Ark" coat-tail rider

1944 Somewhere vaguely defined in South East Asia 
 A mission to retrieve a certain item goes wrong and only the intervention of a young woman saves tough American agent Bob Jackson (David Warbeck) from death.

  A year later Bob is tracked down by his old partner David Franks (John Steiner - apparently channeling the spirit of Terry Thomas) with an offer. Go back into the jungle, retrieve said item (Hint: see the title of the movie) and earn lots of money.
  Admittedly there is a sect of Golden Cobra worshipping nutters to deal with, not to mention the hostile natives who almost killed him last time. There's also  a young woman who bears an uncanny resemblance to the jungle beauty (the delightful Almanta Suska pulling a double shift) and her not-remotely- trustworthy uncle (Luciano Pigozzi) complicating matters. Easy money, right?

  I should probably mention that there is no point where anybody wears a bikini in this film, golden or otherwise.  Despite this Hunters... is pretty decent for what it is: An Italian film hoping to cash in on the success of the Indiana Jones franchise without the budget, effects or star power.

  The director wisely keeps things moving along at a decent rate, with liberal sprinklings of action while  David Warbeck  makes a damn good fist of his open-shirted heroics, with Warbeck and John Steiner playing off each other rather well.
 The climax is maybe not as good as it could have been and the Golden Cobra stubbornly refuses to give any indication of the alleged supernatural powers. But on the whole I enjoyed this film.

Hunters Of The Golden Cobra is the sort of thing Sony Movie Channel might put on Saturday afternoon for some harmless adventure fun. Not great cinema but entertaining enough if you're in the mood.

Watch the whole film here:

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Getting Sheared For Summer

 I've been trying to grow my hair out recently. I'm not entirely sure why although some vague attempt to recapture the headbanging days of my twenties is probably lurking somewhere under the surface.

 (Sorry but headbanging with short hair makes you look like a numpty.  I speak truth and you know it.)

Then I ran into two significant problems.  

 The first is getting hair in my eyes - which sucked - and the constant flicking I had to do to keep it out.

When I realised I was pushing my hair out of my eyes every two minutes having long hair no longer seemed like such a good idea. 

 Besides which based on previous attempts  the end result would not have been this:

But was more likely to have been this: 

Except older, fatter and less photogenic. 

Problem number two is that the UK is currently in the middle of some very uncharacteristic weather.

To put it bluntly, it's way too hot and I am currently sweating my bollocks off.  

The last thing I need right now is a lovely mop of heat retaining thatch on my skull. Which itches

So last night I broke out my trusty clippers and ten minutes later my magnificent mane of hair ... was a puddle on my kitchen floor. 

Here's another shot. Banana for scale. 

That's me Captain Baldy for another two months then. Oh well. 

If I get sunburnt on my newly nude bonce I'm going to be ever so annoyed. 

Saturday, 10 June 2017

Heavy Metal Cover Girls..In The Silvery Moon's Light

It's about time I did one of these. Actually it's about time I posted full stop but I'm definitely overdue a Cover Girls post.

 So I dived into my album cover folder and after getting distracted more than I care to admit I finally came up with tonight's theme.   Girls under the light of the Moon

 Yes, I know it sounds a bit boring but trust me, a decent artist can take any theme and run with it.

Now let's go for a walk in the moonlight and see who we meet. 

Niobeth - Silvery Moonbeams (Spain 2011)

Heavy Metal art blog

When you consider all the horrible stuff that happens on metal album covers, sometimes
 it's nice to just see a pretty girl sitting in a tree under the light of the moon.  
Although I am curious as to how she managed to get up the tree in her nice, 
floaty dress without ripping it to buggery or getting moss stains everywhere. 

Niobeth are from the more emotive corner of Metal.

 Minstrelix - Reflections (Japan 2009)

woman dancing in moon light
Another pleasant cover.
Just a happy girl dancing under the two moons...
Two moons?  Screw it... we'll let that slide for now.

In a minute she's going to discover why putting a leash on birds is usually considered a bit stupid.
More so when you've tied the other end to your dress.

If you like your Power metal with classical flourishes and female vocals you might like this.
(Band has since switched vocalists to a bloke by the way.). 

Molllust - In Deep Waters (Germany 2015)

Three albums in and we're still good. Nothing weird, scary or bloody yet. I live in hope.

Beth the mermaid always dreamt of being a ballet dancer. Unfortunately having a distinct lack of feet was a career-killer.
But Beth was determined gal. Once she worked out how to make her own costumes without
the patterns going all soggy, she began practising her artistic moves under the light of the moon.
One day she would dance.
One day.

Mollust don't make finding their songs easy with their choice of spelling.
Operatic Metal FFO old Therion maybe?

Marenne - The Past Prelude (Finland 2009)

Just so you know,. I didn't black out the bit on the bottom right. It was like that when I found it. 

So she's praying to the moon, I guess. That's all empowering and stuff and not at all disturbing providing her prayer isn't
"Dear Selene, Please make all my classmates die! ha ha ha ha haaah"

Marenne are Blackened Grindcore
Nah. I'm kidding.
Female fronted Melodic Metal. 

My Deception - Sinful Twilight (Portugal 2013)

Here we have a bellydancer practising her routine at Twilight ... And Holy Crap is that a skull? 

Um,..she could be one of those metal bellydancers I've heard about or..


She's a witch isn't she? 

I knew this was going to get dark eventually. 

My Deception are the first band thus far with a bloke singing.
Gothic Metal, natch.
I am intrigued. These guys are pretty good. 

Apparition - For Vengeance And For Love (UK 2012)

Pretty as this scene is, I foresee a bloody rampage coming on. 

Apparition are Gothic Metal from  my old West Midlands homeland so I wish them well.
Guitarist David Homer is also the man behind the The Dames of Darkness Festival  which I keep meaning to go to one of these days. 

Apparition are Gothic/Symphonic Metal and not bad at all.

Devil's Train -S/T  (Germany 2012)

Oh dear. In our moonlight stroll we seem to have accidentally stumbled across a hellbitch summoning her demon armies into our world.

Devil's Train are straight up Hard Rock.

That's all folks. 

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