In which a guy old enough to know better talks about...stuff.
Including, but not necessarily limited to: Wrestling, Metal, Anime, Books, Comics, Cartoons, Stuff that pisses me off, AOR and songs with "Metal" in the title.
A little while back I posted the album cover to Claymore's "Lament Of Victory" and mentioned how much I liked it.
Just to refresh your memory, here it is again.
Well, I was pleasantly surprised when the band's guitarist Vlad Invictus left a comment - cheers mate - so I took the opportunity to ask who did the art.
And the answer is: Serbian freelance artist Dusan Markovic.
Not only that, but he also did a couple of covers for promising female-fronted metal crew A Sound of Thunder.
I've been scanning pics from a pair of 1960s Pro Wrestling magazines I acquired last week. (See my last two posts for details.) but in the process I couldn't help noticing something.
The last decade or so, womens' wrestling has been nudged out of the magazines. PowerSlam might have a pinup every other month but you almost never see an article about, say A.J Lee.
Even back in the days when I was reading the Apter mags (Inside Wrestling, Pro Wrestling Illustrated.) and their competitors (Wrestling Scene especially) you'd get a short piece every so often and that's it.
I'm holding an edition of Ring Wrestling from 1964 right now. Let's see how many articles there are about the ladies.
So far - 5. 11 pages in total. Not counting a frivolous comedy piece and something about a wrestling Tartar Princess.
Hmm. Wonder why?
That goes some way towards explaining why I decided to hold back certain pics and post all the women's action at the same time. Hope you like them.
Ann Casey doesn't seem to like blondes much.
The Fabulous Moolah gets pummeled by Joan Collins.
Not the Joan Collins, although thinking about it, that would have been awesome.
Jean Bouchet smiles for the camera. seems like a nice girl.
And now she's putting the boot in. Seems to be quite enthusiastic about it too.
Jean gets roughed up by Princess Little Cloud.
A line up of lady wrestlers in seriously unflattering swimsuits. That said, Sheba Zenni has an elegant, exotic thing going on. Be right back. I'll see if I can find some more pics.
Nope. Bugger.
A quick look on WrestlingData.com reveals that she was only around for 15 matches or so.
Olga Martinez doesn't like blondes either. Let's take a moment to consider how strong this woman must be.
Fathia "Chi Chi" Djaileb. Empress Of The Black Dagger. Heading for American rings.
The article mentions that before becoming a wrestler she was a nurse for the Arab Nationalist Movement.
Not by choice either: "I was kidnapped by the movement when I was only 15 years old."
After trying her hand at basketball the young Algerian began wrestling and went on to compete in the UK.
There's archive footage of that match on Youtube. Apologies for potato quality.
At some point The Empress of the Black Dagger began wrestling as Titi Paris, under which name she campaigned for women to be allowed to wrestle in New York. She even had a role in 1980 wrestling flick "Below The Belt" That's her helping battered heroine Rosa at the end of this clip.
The other day I was passing a charity shop when something made me back up and take another look in the window. And that's where I found this:
This is an American magazine from 1963 and it gives a fascinating glimpse into the way wrestling looked before Hulkamania. Before Sports Entertainment. Before The Rock. Before Divas. Before every fan in the world knew about how the business really worked.
How about I share a few scans with you?
I am fairly certain there is nobody else on the internet doing this, namely working through Youtube to find Heavy Metal songs with "Metal" in the title. Want to know how many I've found so far?
Well, take a look at the tab at the top that says "The Metal Project Songlist". I think you mkight be impressed.
Without further ado, let's listen to some Heavy Metal, shall we?
(In An Elvis Outfit. It all makes sense in context)
Powers Booth
(In a white outfit like Boss Hogg used to wear.
If you were around in the 70s you'll know who I'm talking about)
Jeff Fahey
(In a Cowboy outfit.)
Helena Mattson
(In the outfit from the DVD cover.
This may or may not have affected my decision to buy said DVD.
Yes I am that shallow. )
Megan Park
(Who doesn't get to dress up at all. Poor thing.)
The DVD blurb: "When a priceless Apache War Mask is stolen from an Indian casino all hell breaks loose. A random stranger, John Smith, soon finds himself caught in the middle of the mayhem when he becomes the prime suspect. With a million dollar reward on offer for the safe return of the mask, the wrongly accused Smith begins dodging bullets from corrupt cops, assassins and a drop dead beautiful blonde - all determined to hunt him down and get their hands on the prize money."
No mention of Elvis impersonators, you'll notice.
Given a) how important they are to the plot and b) the scientifically proven fact that Elvis impersonators make any film 16% better, this is probably a major flaw in the marketing.
One of the Elvis impersonators is a Dwarf. And nobody thought to mention this on the DVD cover?
Think of all the potential sales lost because somebody didn't do their job properly.
Ahem.
"Guns, Girls,Gambling" opens with a knackered Gary Oldman (Dressed as Elvis, obviously.) climbing aboard a bus in the Nevada desert. Then a gorgeous young woman steps on board, quotes some Edgar Allen Poe and opens up with a brace of pistols.
The story does that "start in the middle then skip back" trick, there's a knowing voice-over from Slater that brings in the Pocahontas story, a couple of running gags straight out of a screwball movie and at one point a character decides to deconstruct certain racial stereotypes while smacking our hero about.
You think maybe this film is trying just a little too hard?
Luckily they mostly get away with it. It's not the sort of movie that makes you ring up your mates and go "You need to see this." but it is more than entertaining enough for my liking.
The storyline has multiple gun-toting nutters chasing our hero about, but thankfully you don't need a crib-sheet to keep track of the teams. And the ending came as a genuine surprise to me.
Slater & co play their parts with a nod and a wink to the essential daftness, avoiding the temptation to get too wacky. Considering they are in a film with gun-toting Elvises, that can't have been easy.
Action sequences - nothing too flashy or gory and none of them outstay their welcome.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that the blonde from the cover (Yes, that is how she's credited. "The Blonde" ) is in it for more than one scene. Not always the case in this sort of film.
We never do find out why she's so big on Edgar Allen Poe. Makes a change from lame puns, I guess.
So, to sum up. "Guns, Girls, Gambling" is maybe a bit too knowing for it's own good but if you can get past that, and you just want something none too taxing for a Saturday night, this should do the trick.
You may find that your enjoyment is enhanced by eating a big Doner Kebab at the same time.
It's that kind of movie.
Time for some screenshots.
The King waits for a bus.
A crazy woman gets on and starts spouting poetry.
I've had this happen to me.
Funnily enough the mad person in question didn't look like this.
They were older, fatter and female only in the loosest sense of the word .
Smelled like goat ass too.
I love UK public transport.
Gary is understandably confused.
John Smith getting an unfriendly reaction from Native Americans. Nobody is surprised by this.
"Hi. I'm your compulsory female sidekick. I'm perky"
"That's nice...No offence but I think I'd rather have had the girl in the catsuit. She's got guns"
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