The Metal Project: Metalwrath

 Well, I finally plucked up the courage to share my little project with Reddit and much to my relief, the post went down fairly well. Along with positive karma and a traffic spike, I also got some great song suggestions.

How about I share them with you too?

We'll start with one that would have fitted perfectly into the last post. 

Warlust - Speed Metal Tyrants (Germany 2014)

(Suggested by insightdown)

Honour to: Warlust

Tyger Tank - Liquid Metal (Colombia 2014)

(Suggested by Protochaud)

Honour to: Andres Tyger

Full Strike - Metal Mind (Sweden 2002)

( One of many suggested by Spiner202)

 Honour to: Scourge's Emerald

I rather like that one.

Amon Amarth - Metalwrath  (Sweden 2011) 

(One of several suggested by ComiGa )

Honour to: Ivan Delso

Blood Tsunami - Metal Fang (Norway 2013)

(Suggested by  weynur)

Honour to: Indie Recordings

Metalucifer - Heavy Metal Mountain (Japan 2009)

(ratatosk suggested a whole load of Metalucifer songs I didn't know about.

I picked this one because it's a complete contrast to the rest of this batch.)

Honour to: Necro Sodomy

A big thanks to all the Redditors that suggested songs and to all the Youtubers who uploaded these tracks

That's all folks. 

The Metal Project: Speed Metal Attack

 For the first Metal Project this year I'm using a very simple theme. Every single song is not just about "Metal" but is a hymn to "Speed Metal"  Enjoy

Leopard Machine - Speed Metal Hurricane (Brazil 2014)

 Honour to: Leopard Machine

Speedhammer - Evil! Speed Metal (Chile 2012)

Honour to: Vomit Of Hades

Omission - Satanic Speed Thrash Metal (Spain 2011)

Honour to: Sortarius6

The next one has female vocals, just for a change.

Demona - Dirty Speed Metal (Chile 2012)

Honour to: DemonaSpeedMetal

This post is leaning quite heavily towards a Latin/Latin American flavour so to mix it up a bit, how about some fast riffing from South east Asia?

Lobotomy - Speed Metal Breakdown (Malaysia 2012)

 Honour to: 666SpeedHell

Now for some Hellenic neckbreakers.

Omega - Speed Metal Force (Greece 2013)

Honour to: Legions Omega

This next band may have overdone it on the echo effects a wee bit.

Survival - Speed Metal Attack (Mexico 2013)

Honour to: E Graves

Satanas - Speed Metal Invasion (2013 - country unknown)

Encyclopedia Metalium has 4 different bands called Satanas and none of them match this one.

If anybody has a clue, can you let me know please?

Honour to: SpeedMetalInvasion

Metal Genocide - Speed Metal Executioners (Chile 2013)

Honour to: Jorge Aguilera

And finally...

Moridven - Lethal Speed Metal (Peru 2013)

Honour to: Blank TV

That's all folks. 

Cheapo DVD Review: Sinbad The Fifth Voyage (2014)

 "Sinbad is in love with the Sultan's daughter, Firoozeh, despite the disapproval of her father. When an evil sorcerer, known as the White Deev, kidnaps Firoozeh and holds her hostage in th Black Desert, Sinbad has 40 days and 40 nights to rescue her. 
 Along the way sinbad must abttle an army of mythical creatures, including the legendary Cyclops, to get bck the love of his life. Based on the classic Arabian Night stories, Sinbad The Fifth Voyage is a spectacular fantasy adventure that will enchant and thrill audiences of all ages."

I do like a good Sinbad movie. The romance of ancient Arabia - a dashing, swashbuckling hero with the soul of a poet - fabulous monsters - wicked sorcerers - beautiful exotic women in those Harem girl outfits...all jolly good fun.

Sadly this is not a good Sinbad movie.

It's not for lack of trying. Shalin Sean Solimon not only stars but writes, produces and directs so this is very much his baby.
  (How he feels about his name not even appearing on the front cover is anybody's guess. Especially since Patrick Stewart only gets about a dozen lines, all off-screen in his role as Narrator.)

Anyway Mr Solimon was clearly trying to pay tribute to the classic Sinbad films of yore, eschewing CGI for the classic stop-motion technique of Ray Harryhausen, while at the same time injecting a little romantic back-story.

  It doesn't quite work.

 The story is serviceable enough, as is the acting. But the stop-motion is nowhere near as good as The Master's and would be considered weak for a low-budget Metal video. (The giant crab-thing is ...silly. But not in a good way.) The frequent flashbacks just trip up the narrative. And as for the supposed Big Bad himself...The White Deev manages to be more ridiculous than menacing.

It really is a shame. There's moments when "Sinbad..." hints at greater things but as it is, I found myself watching a film that wasn't stupid enough to be a cheesy guilty pleasure but not really up to the goals it set itself.

How much did I pay for this?  £4.99
Was it worth it: I can't say that it was. Sorry.

And can anybody explain to me why everybody insisted on calling our hero Sanbad?

Time for some screenshots.  

The Sultan looks pleased with his life.

I don't blame him. Jammy get.

The lovely Princess Firoozeh isn't so sure about the next act though.

A mysterious masked magician who sounds like he's got a sort throat...

He's clearly not going to turn out to be a wrong'un, is he?. 

Personally if I were Sultan I'd institute a Standing Order .

To whit "Any magicians who get within a mile of my throne are to be shot on sight."

Sinbad ..sorry Sanbad ... looking heroic and stuff.

"Oh shit. It's a giant Plasticine bird! Run away!"

"This is my scary face! Raargh"

Time for a mega-monster smackdown!

Not as cool as it looks, sadly.

Here's the trailer 

That's all folks. 

Terrible Metal Album Covers XXIII

I haven't done one of these for a while. In fact,  I haven't done a TMAC since March 2014.

So this latest collection is more than overdue.  

As always, I should emphasise that just because the album art is horrible to behold, utterly lacking in artistic merit and more than a bit silly, does not mean the band are also terrible.

Shall we begin?   

Daniele Liverani - Fantasia (Italy 2014)

Mr Liverani is by all accounts a talented chap - multi-instrumentalist, producer and composer. 

So he really deserves something a bit better than this.  

It literally looks like he's been cut 'n'pasted into a generic bit of "Dream" artwork.

Motor- S/T (Germany 2013)

"Bat Out Of Hell" - The Tesco Value version. 

God, this is ugly. 

Funeral Frost - Queen of Frost (Sweden 1996)

This was always going to be a bit dodgy but the back-of-an-exercise-book art quality

 just adds the icing on the cake. Then licks it off, drops the cake on the floor and kicks it around for a bit. 

Jester - Tales From The Boogieman (USA 1996)

Not what I picture when I see the word Boogieman.

I usually tend to think of something a bit scarier.

Like this.

Admit it, if this guy lived under your bed you'd move house.

Not something that looks like a cross between a scarecrow and a mime. 

Narcotic Greed - Fatal (Japan 1994)

So we have, let's see.

Naked lady

Elephant on stilts

Tigers emerging from the mouth of a goldfish

...which is erupting from a tiny planet.

And what the hell is that on the right hand side anyway?

Some sort of floating waterfall? Gawd knows. 

At this point commentary is frankly unnecessary. 

So sit back and let the weirdness wash over you. 

And finally a cover that isn't Metal by any stretch of the imagination but I'm posting it anyway, just because it's so ghastly. 

Dwellers - Good Morning Hara-Kiri (USA 2012)

Proof that it's not only metal covers that can be utterly lacking in taste.

That's all folks. 

My new favourite statue.

  Thanks to a combination of Writer's Block and a stinking cold, the post I originally had planned may be somewhat delayed. In the meantime - and mainly to establish that I am still updating this blog - here's some photos I took on my last trip up to London. 

  One of the things I do like about London is that you're never far away from something interesting. Sometimes all it take is to wander down a road you've never visited before.

 Embankment Gardens is a small patch of  peace and prettiness by the side of the Thames. Ten minutes walk will find you headed towards the bustle of Central London but here at least, you get a chance to amble along looking at the trees and the statues without somebody breathing down your neck.

  There's also a good selection of artwork. My favourite piece - probably my favourite statue in London if not the UK - is the one I'm posting today.