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Sunday 4 July 2021

DVD Review: Triassic Hunt (2021)

 

Triassic Hunt

  The Story: A pair of genetically engineered Allosaurs  are being transported in a truck with woefully weak security measures. Of course they escape because The Corporation or The Military are invariably unable to move these bioweapon horrors more than a mile without fucking it up.  A small team of suspiciously unmilitary mercenaries are called in to recover the beasties and some of them get eaten. 

 I think that covers the basics. 

  One of my many movie pet hates is producers slapping Jurassic onto the cover of any DVD that has dinosaurs in it and nine times out of ten they're late Cretaceous creatures. I blame Spielberg for this one. Thanks a bunch Steve. 

However, here we have some legitimately Jurassic dinosaurs and some numpty decided to go with Triassic Hunt instead. 

 You know, I think this might have been a more interesting film if they'd decided to use some creatures that were actually around in the Triassic. 

 Like this one, for instance. 

 Tanystropheus Witton - sourced from: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Tanystropheus

Or how about this: 
Lyddekerina- a giant-ass, carnivorous newt. Created by: dmitrchel@mail.ru


  It would make a refreshing change from badly-CGIed thropods.  Admittedly it's a bit harder to create serious tension when you're hunting animals that are only a serious threat to fish and maybe squirrels. 

  Moving on to the actual film.  Triassic Hunt is the sort of low-budget, dinoschlock that The Asylum pump out on a weekly basis. The low budget means that you end up watching  the small cast running around a warehouse chasing clunky-looking Allosaurs.
 At no point is it ever explained how the dinosaurs are able to fit through doors or climb stairs. 

  There's some attempt to develop the characters, which feels a bit half-hearted and the inevitable "revelations" will surprise nobody. Neither will the ending which I've already seen in a dozen films already. The whole thing is very formulaic. 

Oh, this may possibly be a sequel to a film I haven't seen and don't really care about. 

  To sum up: Triassic Hunt feels like it was bolted together from bits of other movies and has very little fresh, original or even particularly interesting to offer. 

You might get some enjoyment out of this film if you watch it with mates after many beers but I wouldn't count on it.    

That's All Folks.