Big D's 12 Rules of Life.

I've mentioned a couple of these already. What the hell, let's do the rest as well.

1. Never rent anything where the DVD cover shows a woman in a bikini. 
2. Never rent anything where the DVD cover shows a woman holding a pistol.
3. If the cover has a woman in a bikini holding a gun, back away slowly and don't breathe in lest the stupid infect you.
4. Anybody who describes themselves as "wacky" should be avoided at all costs.
5. Ditto anybody who starts talking about the Waffen SS.
6. The public perception of any group will be defined by the most retarded and obnoxious members.
7. Be nice to people. The universe may be keeping score.
8. Being talented does not automatically mean your music is any good.
9. If you don't want to be around somebody when they are drunk, there better be a damn good reason for hanging around them when they are sober. Force of habit is not a good reason.
10. No matter what the most bizarre thing you have ever seen might be, the Japanese will find a way to top it.
11. Any man who tells you that he has never put a teacosy on his head is either lying or anal beyond human endurance. Shun him. 
12. You don't be a dick about things I like and I won't be a dick about things you like. Deal?