Been Watching: Slammed (2004)

It's amazing what you can find in charity shops sometimes. Nestled amongst the "Friends" DVDs and the other stuff that's not worth taking to CEX I discovered this:

 Which turned out to be the Hungarian release of this:

  Busboys Jeff and Derek have a plan. To make a name for themselves in the unsanctioned world of Back Bar Wrestling then go on to the big time and make a ton of money.

 But first they need to defeat local champ "Switchblade" Rick Kaspers, save Jeff's uncle's junkyard from evil real estate men  and get the girls of their dreams.  And to do that, they need the help of Back Bar Wrestling legend The Slammer. 

 So what the hell is Back Bar Wrestling? Up until this movie I'd never bloody heard of it.

 Well apparently it's like Backyard Wrestling in that it consists of local boys having a go at Pro Wrestling, with the important difference that it's "Legit" rather than "Fake"

Uh-huh.

 I also had trouble accepting the babyfaced Justin Whalin as a, effectively, an underground prizefighter. At least "Switchblade" and "The Slammer" are played by guys that look like they've put in the gym time. 

 "Switchblade" Rick Kaspars - Blonde and rich so obviously a douchenozzle.

The Slammer - No, we never find out his real name. 

Is this the face of a badass brawler?

 Anyway, setting aside, the story is the standard "Plucky Underdogs v Rich Knobhead" with a definite hint of "American Pie" in the way the comedy dips into lowbrow.

 You get the traditional "make the bad guy eat something revolting" scene that's been a staple since the 80s. In this case it's a dogshit burrito.

Tasty. 

You get a love interest for each of the male leads.

 Shane. Switchblade's girlfriend but doesn't stay that way for too long.

Derek's newly acquired girlfriend. Can't dance too well but who cares.

And a clutch of young women who are mainly there to take off their clothes when the story demands it. In fact, blonde Playmate wannabe Fifi is the secret weapon the boys unleash in their cunning plot to get Slammer onside.It involves a wet t-shirt contest, weirdly enough.

The Power Of Boobs compels you...

  

By the way, Tiny "Zeus" Lister pops up as a frankly alarming cook.

 And it is entirely in keeping with the tone of the movie that two of his bigger scenes are : The production of the aforementioned Burrito con mierda and being caught beating off to a Mail Order Bride catalogue. 

  All the expected cliches pop up in the usual order; the Party - The Party goes wrong - Oh shit my parents are home - Training Montage - Final Showdown - Everybody Gets The Girl and truth be told there's nothing very original here.

 I suppose using a sex doll as a sparring partner counts. 

   What's my name you latex jobroni?

 Apparently some of the boys from the local Indie promotion came over to lend a hand which explains why the wrestling scenes do look halfway decent and give Whalin and co credit, it does look like they genuinely took a few bumps while putting this together. 

 Wrestling comedies are surprisingly tricky to do. Juggling the violence inside the ring and the laughs outside is a feat that nobody to my knowledge has succesfully managed.  However, "Slammed" is an OK way to kill a bit of time. Just don't watch it with anybody who really doesn't like wrestling. Or anybody that really does like wrestling.

 And now some screencaps.

   The Slammer battles ex WWE bod Sylvester Terkay

Boobs (Censored obviously)

 Derek explains to Jeff why waiting tables is all part of his Grand Strategy. 

Jeff and Shane take a break from the boobs, brawling 

and burritos filled with shite to have a tender moment. 

A woman dressed as a cat strangles a schoolgirl. I think I may have read that manga.

 The battle that will decide whether good or evil has Dominion over the earth.

And more of Fifi at the wet -shirt contest.