A few things I've been wondering.

1. How come my computer at work always decides to throw a sulk whenever I have somebody sat next to me waiting on results?
2. What do toenails actually do?
3.  What the oinking **** happened to the singles chart in the last ten years?
4. What happened to my attention span, exactly?  I thought you were supposed to get better at concentrating as you got older.
5. If I'm subsidising  British farming through my taxes, shouldn't I get a free chicken once in a while?