Film review: Xanadu (1980)-Too cheesy even for the 80s.

Youtube can lead you to some funny places.

   What I was looking for

Where I ended up

   "Xanadu" starred Olivia Newton-John, fresh from the megahit "Grease", Michael Beck, tipped for big things after "The Warriors"  and Hollywood legend Gene Kelly.

 It also featured ELO, who were currently  one of the world's biggest bands, cutting-edge visual effects and a cameo from theatre-rock loons The Tubes. The producers then sat back and waited for the money to start rolling in. 

 The sound track did pretty good business, going Double Platinum in the UK and US alike . "Magic" and the infectious title track hit the #1 spot on both sides of the Atlantic and the other singles did quiet nicely too . (Didn't do The Tubes  much good though, not that they cared.)

 The film?

Crashed hard

 After a critical beasting the movie was a financial disaster and hurt the careers of everybody involved. The highlight of Michael Beck's subsequent filmography is the equally disastrous "Megaforce" while Olivia Newton-John teamed up with John Travolta again for the flop "Two Of a Kind"which seems to have put her off Hollywood for life.

  The story is very, very simple. Struggling artist Sonny Malone bumps into a mysterious young woman who keeps disappearing every time he takes his eyes off her. (Almost like she has magic powers in fact. Hmm.) In the process Sonny meets Danny Maguire, retired jazzman, and they hit it off so well Danny decides to go back into the entertainment business, provided Sonny can find him a premises with potential.

 Sonny has just the place. An abandoned theatre up the road that happens to be where a certain teleporting blonde named Kira practises her rollerskating.  

 Danny and Sonny open their club. Kira, who's actually one of the nine Muses so technically a goddess, sticks around long enough to see it happen then disappears in a flash of light. The end.

"Xanadu" opens with a gaggle of young women stepping out of a mural and launching into an enthusiastic modern ballet to the strains of ELO. Oh, and they are all glowing. 
It ends with a ten minute musical medley that has to be seen to be believed. (Bodypopping Zootsuiters? Gene Kelly on rollerskates leading a mass, tribal chant?  Olivia Newton-John doing a C&W number for no apparent reason? )
 In truth this film does rather come across as being a clutch of music videos chickenwired together. 

 There are enjoyable bits - there's an animated sequence that Walt Disney would be proud to put his name to, the soundtrack is good, cheesy fare and whenever ONJ & Gene Kelly get to show off their talents it's worth watching.
 But while "Xanadu" is good in places the framing story is sparse in the extreme. Why does Kira fall in love with Sonny? Why would she want to?  Never explained.
Why is it so important Danny and Sonny set up this club anyway? Your guess is as good as mine.
  And some of the musical numbers really don't work.  As a general rule, the more people involved, the more it looks like they rounded up a busload of jobbing dancers and told them to improvise.  The director not really knowing where he's supposed to be shooting doesn't help.

  I have heard this film described as a deliberate attempt to take the musical fantasies of classic Hollywood and give them an 80s polish.  That was always going to be tricky to pull off. And while it's not quite the rainwreck I was expecting, you do end up with a film that can't quite work out where it wants to go and how to get there.
 I can't help feeling that if  "Xanadu" had contained more glowing ballet dancers I might have had a better time watching it.
Let's finish with some screenshots.

  Olivia Newton-John wonders why she's glowing

Some houses have poltergeists. Danny's is haunted by a jazz band. 

Sonny wonders how the hell the weird blonde got into his flat and whether she has a knife.

 Will you loonies sod off and let me shop in peace?

 I did rather like this bit. 

Kira and Sonny accidentally fall into a video game. Now they must fight to the death.