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Thursday 17 January 2013

Terrible Metal Album Covers - Chapter 10

Once again I open the vaults and drag forth more Things That Should Not Be.
 Artists that can't draw faces. Designers that lost the plot. Graphics teams that thought they were working for some pretentious art-rock poseurs. Bands that paid their mate a few spliffs to draw something "cool" for the cover.
  Please remember that although these covers deserve mockery, sometimes the bands involved are actually very good.
 And now...
Let the madness begin! 

Triarchy - Live to Fight Again (UK 2007)

Bloody awful metal album cover NWOBHM
 There you are, wandering along minding your own business when some 
Samurai nutjob on a badly drawn horse comes and rips your head off.
(I do feel bad about posting this one as Triarchy did one of my favourite NWOBHM songs)



Warlock - Burning The Witches (Germany 1984)

Terrible+Metal+Album+Covers
Another case of good band, shame about the cover. 
And where the hell is his neck?

Manic Eden - S/T (USA/NLD 1994)

Awful_Metal_Album_Cover
Apparently this band featured Whitesnake alumni Adrian Vandenberg, Tommy
 Aldridge and Rudy Sarzo plus Little Caesar's Ron Young
All that talent and this ...thing is the best they could come up with? 

Technically this next one shouldn't be here because it's a single but come on.... Look at it! 
How could I not post it? 

Spit Fire - Blade Runner (Italy 1984)

 I can only assume the band let one of their kids draw this. 

Villains - Drenched In The Poisons (USA 2007)

The band may have been going for something minimalist. 
Or they could have got the roadie to doodle something while drunk.
We may never know. 

Witch - Salem's Rise (USA 1985)

Badly Drawn Metal Album Cover
Unexpectedly shy minion of Satan plays peekaboo.
Judging by her eyes the poor girl needs to stop cavorting nightly with the
 powers of darkness and get a few early nights.

Emerald - Rebels Of Our Time (Switzerland 1999)


Bad Metal album artwork
Note how the artist cunningly avoids having to draw faces. 

Time for one where the band do have to accept some reponsibility 

Mad Axeman -(Germany 1984)

Bad Metal album photo
Germans. The 1980s. Says it all, really. 

And finally

Xerxes - Beyond My Imagination (Switzerland 1993)

pretentious metal album cover
It takes a special kind of genius to come up with something this pretentious 
and yet so very,very ugly.

That's it for now folks.


5 comments:

  1. I swear I thought the first one was a predator on a headless horse type thing. Had to really study it to understand what was going on.

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  2. Where do you find these covers?

    They're dreadful - and funny.

    :-)

    Cheers

    PM

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  3. I spend a lot of time looking for new music. In the process I couldn't help noticing that some bands really, really needed to give their art team a slap.
    Glad you liked them, gentlemen, and thanks for swinging by.

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  4. That horse and rider on the Triarchy cover, scary! But I listened to Triarchy, Save the Khan, I like it! And I’m usually a metal fan. Those other covers made me laugh out loud. Some of them look like they were drawn by first graders at recess LOL! Thanks for the entertaining post.

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    Replies
    1. Glad you liked it. Triarchy are definitely from the classier end of the NWOBHM so that cover does them no favours whatsoever.

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