Terrible Metal Album Covers - Chapter 14

Since I'm feeling prolific, why not put up another fistful of Heavy Metal album covers that should be a source of shame for everybody involved.
 Remember that while the art team may have been utter muppets, it doesn't necessarily mean the band are crap too.

Sigma - S/T (Italy 2000)

Fat men in thongs with ridiculous shoulder pads.

Man-Ass.  Quite high on the list of "things I never need to see again."

Unicorn - The Legend Returns EP (Germany 1987)

Man with curiously large head is...

Err...

What's going on here, exactly?

Is he transforming into a unicorn?

Is he being attacked by a ghost unicorn?

Why has he got a sword glued to his bollocks?

Enquiring minds need to know.

Malibu Barbi  - Rude Girls Single (USA 1987)

There may be a hidden meaning here.

Good luck trying to work it out.

Note that the artist managed to come up with a whole new fetish

Sadly, "Mermaids in stockings" never caught on. 

Savage - Sons Of Malice (UK 2012)

The NWOBHM  crew that were a huge influence on Metallica.

Clearly the artist still thinks it's 1982

Here's what they sound like these days.

The Sterling Cooke Force - Full Force (USA 1984)

In all fairness this does look like some kid drew a picture for the class project
"What do you want to be when you grow up"  Answer - Eddie Van Halen
Who seems to be in mid-air for some reason. 
He's going to bugger his knees right properly when he lands.

Mace - Process Of Elimination (USA 1985)

Mace - The Evil in Good (USA 1987)

Well the logo is better on the second one but that's about the only improvement.

Witchunter - Crystal Demons (Italy 2010)

A cover that screams 

"Hey I just got this free photo-editing software. Look at what I can do with it." 

Take the badly-shopped pics off the top layer and this cover would look at lot better. 

Just a suggestion.

Raw Energy - White Stallion EP (USA 1988)

The one thing you can't help noticing if you've been following the blog so far is this:

A lot of these artists are not short on creativity..Just not quite adept enough to pull it off.

There's clearly a tale to be told here? 

It might have something to do with what horses are famous for doing in great 

quantity and all over the place. Even flying horses. 

Sadly, our red-skinned angrypants lives right under the main flightpath.

And those aren't hills...

Prih Lop - Puppet Of The Faith (Russia 2009)

 Back in the 80s you got a lot of hand-drawn horrors.

These days you get photoshopped ghastliness like this.

It's like somebody covered a piece of paper in glue and lobbed a fistful of clippings at it.

No. Cease and desist this shit.  

That's all for now folks. 

Believe me, I've got plenty more where these came from.