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Saturday 7 December 2013

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Beauty and the Beast

  Welcome to another edition of Heavy Metal Cover Girls, a semi-regular feature devoted to the lovely ladies who grace the covers of  Metal, Hard Rock and AOR albums.
 There are lots of album covers devoted to half-naked men but to be honest, I'm never going to be posting any of them. Sorry.
 Anyway, the theme this time around is: Women and their pets. Some of which must take a hell of a lot of cleaning up after.

 Let's start with the one that inspired this particular post.

 The Ragged Saints - The Sound Of Breaking Free (Finland 2013)

One of my favourite recent album covers. 
Just screams "Joy" and "freedom" doesn't it?
Band website here if you want to have a listen: http://theraggedsaints.com/

Continuing the "Big cats" idea.

Elikat - Caught In Love EP (Spain 1989)

Another cover that's rather elegant.

If you're not a big fan of snakes, look away now.

Atrocity - Okkult  (Germany 2013)

Just out of shot, several nervous roadies armed with baseball bats, just in case the big-ass python gets peckish.

Sturm Und Drang - Gaduation Day (Finland 2012)

Graduation from "Snake-dancing stripper" school presumably. 

Alright snake-phobes you can come back out now. 

Sphinx - Burning Lights (Germany 1985)

 
You know, I think if she wants to walk around in a swamp while topless, I'm just going to let her get on with it. She's got a freaking crocodile. You'd be amazed how much personal space people are willing to give you when your pet can bite their leg off.

Altar Of Sin - The Damned Dogs From Hell  (Spain 2010)

I like dogs. I think I prefer Labradors though. They are less inclined to try and eat your soul.

Zodiac - A Hiding Place (Germany 2013)

  Screw having bluebirds as your Animal Friends. They might sing all pretty and stuff but can they bring back a moose for dinner? If you're ever alone in the forest try and make friends with the wolves. Apart from anything else, if they like you, they won't rip out your liver and eat it while you're still alive.

Longings Past - An Angel's Tale (USA 1994)


Aethra - Tales from Distant Skies And Far Beyond (Mexico 2003)

A couple of young ladies and their scaly BFFs. Since the natural instinct of the dragon is to eat maidens, the early training routine must have been interesting.

And finally, one last Big Cat cover. 
I know the joke you were expecting me to make.
Not going to happen.

Twisted Tower Dire - Make It Dark (USa 2011)

A cover that to me, says "Shit. We're lost"

That's all folks.


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13 comments:

  1. nothingprofound7 December 2013 at 23:37

    Ah, a beautiful woman and a tiger! Who could ask for better company? Love your commentaries, especially the one on Sphinx.

    *crossing my fingers this comment goes through*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dale Brown8 December 2013 at 10:40

      Thank you. Sorry your comments keep getting caught in the Spam filter. It's not my doing, honest.

      Delete
  2. Helena Fortissima8 December 2013 at 03:38

    Very cool piece, Big D. You amaze me with the ideas you come up with, and your captions are always so funny! Looking forward to read what you come up with next. Personally, I like the albums with women and cats. It's a femcat thing...meow!!!

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    Replies
    1. Helena Fortissima8 December 2013 at 04:18

      oops, "to reading"

      Delete
    2. Dale Brown8 December 2013 at 10:44

      Thank you very much. I'm rather taken with the first two myself. I could see them fitting in to an ad campaign somewhere.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous8 December 2013 at 05:45

    Okay, now I want a dragon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. iancochrane8 December 2013 at 17:54

    I did like `The Damned Dogs from Hell': such a sweet turn of phrase. & being Australian, I really don't like snakes.
    Cheers, ic

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dale Brown10 December 2013 at 21:34

      Given what the snakes in your neck of the woods are like, I don't blame you.

      Delete
  5. JerseyLil10 December 2013 at 07:49

    Big D, I always love your comments on these covers, the “topless” etc., comment on Sphinx, and “Shit, we’re lost” on the last one LOL! My favorite here is Zodiac with the wolves, also like the ladies with the cats and dragons too. Don't care for the pythons though, snakes make me nervous!

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    Replies
    1. Dale Brown10 December 2013 at 21:33

      Imagine how the girls on those covers feel. They've got the bloody things wrapped around them.
      You could not pay me enough to do that job...

      Delete
  6. Anonymous10 December 2013 at 13:54

    That Zodiac cover is actually rather a good bit of art.

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    Replies
    1. Dale Brown10 December 2013 at 21:35

      It is, isn't it? That's another one that would fit nicely into Vogue or somewhere like that.

      Delete