Terrible Metal Album Covers Chapter XXII

 Blimey, I haven't done one of these in a while. And in all fairness, the only reason I'm doing this is that the post I had planned turned out to be a real bugger to get down on paper.
 So, as a blatant stalling measure, let's open up the Vault of Horrors and pull some of the contents into the harsh light of  public scrutiny.
 Please bear in mind that while the album cover may be ghastly, this does not mean the band are shite.

DANGER ZONE - VICTIM OF TIME (EP 1984)

I have no idea how this equates to a "Victim of time"

 "Victim of Dodgy Dentistry" would be a crap title, I guess. 

No wonder his eyes are watering. 

 Dorian Gray - Journey Of Mind (Germany 1998)

No. I'm not going to do a caption for this one.

Because that would involve thinking about it and I don't want to do that.

Why haven't you scrolled down yet?

Dr. Mastermind - S/T (USA 1986)

The first of several covers where talented musicians end up looking a bit goofy. 

Entrench- Inevitable Decay (Sweden 2010)

 I can only assume they are paying tribute to some of the legendary Crap Album covers of the 80s.

Frost - Raise Your Fist To Metal (USA 2003)

Jack Frost, to those aware of his work, is something of a musician's musician.

This cover does him no favours. 

Heavy Bones - S/T 1992

A band made up of seasoned veterans of the Sunset Strip. Releasing this album just as grunge hit was a bit unfortunate. As is this cover.

 What the fuck is that thing even supposed to be? Some sort of...Gorilla-Thornbush, maybe?

But if you thought the artwork on that was crap, cop a load of this...

Karst- Cleaning A Cave (Hungary 2011)

The artist was so unimpressed by his own work, he tried to scribble it out. 

Mysto Dysto - The Rules have Been Disturbed (NLD 1986)

Genie... Blue heads growing out of rocks... scary skull-face instead of a moon... 

A fine example of the "Throw random shit at the page" school of artwork. 

Rez - Silence Screams (USA 1988)

  These guys were actually Christian Rock but while you might argue that it's not a "Terrible Metal Album Cover" it does still count as a "Terrible Album Cover." Nice concept. Execution...needed a bit of polishing.

  The smiling skeleton-coin thingie down the front is weirding me out a bit so hurriedly moving on...

Voodoo Child  - Adrenalin (France 1985) 

Has anybody else noticed how many of these dodgy covers have no relation whatsoever to the album title? Or band name? Call me cynical but you have to wonder if the artist had a doodle lying around and just went "Screw it. Put a logo on that." 

Well, it would certainly explain that Karst cover.

Widow - Rockit (USA 1985)

More AOR than metal but back in the 80s the two scenes weren't quite so far apart as they are now. 

I digress. 

Contemplate the prime 1980s graphic design on display here. Oh dear.

  I firmly believe that decade doesn't deserve as much scorn as it gets but sometimes I have to admit the naysayers have a point. 

 Just to prove my oft-repeated point that crap art does not guarantee crap music. Here's Widow in action with a rather fun promo.  You get a bit of American Bandstand at the end as a bonus.

 That's all folks.