Cheapo DVD Review: Orc Wars (2013)

AKA: "Dragonfyre"  

Traumatised ex-soldier John Norton just wanted a patch of land to call his own and a peaceful new life.
  Unfortunately for him, John's new farm came complete with its own portal to another world and he started getting trespassers.
  The elven princess wasn't too much of a problem. It was the horde of large, angry Orcs that came after her...


  If I were to sum up this film in one sentence it would be "Orcs v Mid-West Gun Nuts"

 The end result isn't high-end cinema by any means. Thanks to budget issues, you only ever see  a handful of Orcs at any one time and they mostly come across as too stupid for their own good.   A tendency to stand there gawping does make life easier for our motley collection of heroes. As it turns out, fantasy armour does jack shit against a .50 cal sniper rifle.
  The writers also couldn't seem to make up their minds whether Princess Aleya is a badass warrior or a panicked damsel so she skips back and forth between the two depending on what  the scene requires.

  On the plus side, the Orc makeup is top-notch, the cast are halfway decent  and the whole thing moves along in a satisfying, if occasionally daft, manner. Suffice it to say, John and co. have a secret weapon and it's a doozy.
 There's a lot of fantasy out there where the hero gets dumped into the middle of  an AD&D campaign, so it is a refreshing change to see the bad guys having to deal with our world for a change.

 If you like low-budget fantasy and ever wondered what might happen if Aragorn had access to machine-guns, it is entirely possible you could enjoy this.
  Watch with a few beers and the understanding that this isn't Tolkien.

Trailer here.