DVD Review: Red Reaper (2013)

"For a thousand years the Reapers guarded mankind from the demons that wait in the dark. Now, at the beginning of a new age, the Reapers are betrayed and slaughtered. Only one Reaper remains - Red, and she's out for revenge.

 The Red Reaper was traded to the demons by the Teller witch - her own mother. Rescued by the Reapers, a sacred clan of human/demon warriors, they raised her as their own, even though she was more demon han the rest of them. She was untrained, untested and shared none of her mother's magical abilities. She couldn't even see the future, her mother's greatest gift. Until the day she did - and it changed the world forever." 

  As soon as I saw the cover for this DVD , I  plucked it off the shelf. There may even have been a little cry of "Ooh. Cool."  Having said that, I couldn't help thinking that the cover art looked a little familiar. 

Back in 2008 Robert Rodriguez had plans to do a remake of a certain barbarian heroine. The project stalled due to other commitments and when putative star Rose McGowan suffered an arm injury that made sword-swinging impossible, everybody lost interest. 

 However, there were a few teaser posters released. Including this one.

 Basically somebody thought "That's a cool pic. Let's rip it off." 

 Anybody want to see what the original DVD cover looked like? 

 No charging knights, no chainmail bikini and no bright crimson hair. Since none of those things actually appear in the movie, this is a much more honest cover.  I also would have been less likely to buy it. 

Now I've got my usual grumblings out of the way, what's the film like? 

Umm... Let me put it this way...

 I stuck "Red Reaper" in the DVD player , ready for some sword & sorcery fun while I had my Monday night Kebab.  Twenty minutes later, I switched it off and dug out my book instead.   

  It took another two attempts before I finally managed to sit through the whole thing. 

 A film about a gorgeous, redheaded, half-demon swordswoman - and I was bored. 

  How the hell did they manage that? 

  Part of the problem is that "Red Reaper" takes too long to get going. The first half of the film centres around heroine Aella having fun with her secret boyfriend Prince Eris, training and having flashbacks. Lots of flashbacks. Or they might be visions. Either way, there's a shitload of them in this film. 

 Plot device or blatant padding, you decide. 

 Aella isn't easy to root for at this point. Considering she's 100 years old (part-demon, y'see.) the Red Reaper seems to spend a lot of time acting like a hormonal teenager sulking because Daddy keeps telling her to tidy her room. At one point she's reduced to glaring at her love rival from behind a pillar. 

  Things pick up a bit when Aella is ambushed by a gaggle of archers who want to drain her semi-human blood but the momentary flurry of excitement leads into an overlong headtrip as Aella battles her inner demons or something. 

  Finally we get some proper demon-slaying as the bad guys launch an attack on the Reapers and thin them out quite badly, paving the way for the demons to make their overdue appearance. 

 By the way, the demons all look like they are moonlighting from Norwegian Black Metal bands. I was half expecting somebody to start gurgling about "Frost" and "Satan" and so on. 

 The fact that Act III of "Red Reaper" involves a lot of people running about a forest in slow motion only added to my amusement. 

 Finally Aella decides to get her game face on but by that point it's far too late. Some quality violence might have rekindled my interest but all the slow-mo and editing tricks can't disguise the fact that the swordplay is really nothing special.  

    

  While I was writing this piece I happened to stumble on Writer/Director/Star Tara Cardinal's bio.  By all accounts she had to battle tooth and nail to get her film made. The co-production company stole the budget, so she became a pro-wrestler and a medical guinea-pig to raise the money. Footage was lost, a distribution company tried to steal the footage for a Steven Segal vehicle and only a personal intervention from Uwe Boll, of all people, got the project finished.  Even the aforementioned  DVD cover switch seems to have come as a shock to Tara and her team.  It really is quite remarkable and I have to admire Cardinal's tenacity.

Details HERE  

  

 But while I wish Tara Cardinal every success in the future, I really cannot recommend "Red Reaper"

Sorry.

Trailer here.

That's all folks.