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Saturday, 14 March 2015

Cheapo DVD Review: 30 Nights Of Paranormal Activity With The Devil Inside The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2013)

I trawl through the offcuts of the movie industry...So you don't have to. 

And today we're looking at:


And since there is no fucking way I am typing all that out every time, henceforth it shall be referred to as "30NOPA"


What's it about

  When Dana was a little girl her father murdered 5 people. Now years later, Dana, her new husband, her baby son and her sulky teenage stepdaughter  move back into the house where it all happened.
  Almost immediately strange things start happening.
 Will setting up a network of security cameras reveal what the hell is going on?

What I thought

The title tells you everything you need to know about 30NOPA, including why it isn't very good.

It's mostly a spoof of "Paranormal Activity" but the writers tried to fit in spoofs of as many other films as possible, even if they had to be hammered into place by brute force.

For example:   Sulky teenager Liz is obviously a ringer for "Girl with The Dragon Tattoo"'s Lisbeth.
That's it. That's the joke.
An Axe-wielding Abraham Lincoln lives next door. Why? Because that was a big film at the time and somebody thought a cameo would amuse people. God knows there's no other reason for him to be there.
At one point somebody dons a black Tutu and does some ballet, just on the offchance that somebody will go "Oh right. That's making fun of Black Swan. How droll"
Then there's the"Adele-in-a-storage-locker"scene and the two random lesbians who show up out of the blue...

You get the drift.

 Like "Epic Movie", "Dance Movie", "Meet The Spartans" and those other dumb, lazy, parodies that were being churned out a few years back 30NOPA  thinks the secret to a funny movie is to cram in as many pop-culture references as possible.
 Aside from guaranteeing that the movie will make no sense to anybody watching it in 5 years time, the main problem is that the end result isn't actually funny.

  During the entire movie I think I broke into a small smile precisely once. I certainly didn't laugh.

 In all fairness to the cast, they did what was asked of them and did it to the best of their ability but they were given duff material to work with.
 Truthfully I think you could have put Cameron Diaz, Steve Carell and Alyson Hannigan into 30NOPA and it would still have fallen flat.

How much did I pay for this?  £1
Was It Worth it? By any meaningful standard, No! 
I managed to sit through it all, and that's about the most complimentary I can get.

 Avoid. 


PS: While I was researching the cast and crew I found this: 
I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that this will be utter bollocks as well. 

That's all folks. 


4 comments:

  1. Whilst on honeymoon (two days off work) a few weeks ago I bought a movie on the strength of it being called "Honeymoon", for three quid in Tesco.

    Don't.

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  2. Thanks for the heads-up. I shall keep an eye out for that one just so I can spurn it.

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  3. Yip, will stay away – thanks for the advice. You should actually also review politics. Then at least we will understand and it might just save us a lot of trouble – thoroughly enjoy your writing style.

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    Replies
    1. I watch these things so you don't have to. I like to think of it as a public service.

      Glad you liked it Nickey.

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