Cheapo DVD Review: Rise Of The Fellowship (2013)

This bad-tempered rant  review is likely to get quite sweary. You have been warned. 

 Just for a change I'm going to post the back cover of the DVD as well. It will become relevant, trust me. 

  "A group of friends embark on an epic journey to find a new world they have only heard of, encountering dangerous obstacles and threats around every corner. During their quest they lose one of their most precious possessions and must display depths of bravery and heroism that they never thought possible. With the aid of some unexpected allies along the way, the companions fiercely look for certainty that they can reach their destination. "

    There's a reason one of my post tags is "DVD artists are lying bastards" and that's because of stuff like this :  Films cynically repackaged as something they aren't to grab more sales. 

I've seen a lot of that over the last few years and it annoys me. Maybe I'm naive but when I pick a film off the shelf because the cover looks interesting, that's the film I want to see. Discovering that I've been gulled yet again does not put me in the right frame of mind to appreciate the movie. 

"Rise Of The Fellowship" is probably the most extreme example of this bullshit I've ever encountered. 

Look at the DVD covers, both of them. You should now have a mental image of the film contained therein, right? 

Wrong.

Very, very fucking wrong. 

  I was expecting a low-budget fantasy that bore a suspicious resemblance to a certain recent series about hairy-footed little people. What I actually got was a low-budget, indie-flick about a bunch of gamers on a road trip. 

  Instead of a LOTR ripoff, I got a film that really wants to be "Fanboys - Gamer edition"

I would be impressed at the way the marketing wankers carefully concealed any clue to the real film...

...If I wasn't so pissed off.   

  If you'd made the DVD cover bear some resemblance to the bastard film I'd still have bought it.  A bunch of gamers trying to get across the country to a gaming event? Sounds like it could be interesting, so let's give it a whirl.  

  As it is, I started watching and my immediate reaction was "What the fuck is this?" which is not a positive thing by anybody's standards. 

 And why the hell is the DVD sleeve covered in knights? There aren't any in the fucking film. That's the sort of thing I'm good at noticing.  

 I'm really good at spotting beautiful women too. So believe me when I say that if the blonde on the cover was in this film, I'd have spotted her.    

  Somebody made a conscious effort to put "Rise Of the Fellowship" out in a sleeve that outright lies.

  Somebody is taking the piss and I am not fucking happy. 

Aargghhh!

  Now that my blood pressure has gone back down and I no longer want to punch somebody, I suppose I'd better talk about the film itself.

 "Rise Of The Fellowship" is OK, I suppose. Amusing, rather than funny, in that low-key Indieflick fashion and with some nods towards the LOTR trilogy that make sense in context. 

 There's quite a few daydream sequences - which does explain the pics on the back cover.  

  The gang are straight out of Geek Casting Central - the straight man, the chick, the fat kid and the guy who thinks he's funny - all of whom are easy to like, so wanting to see them prevail is also easy. . 

 The bad guys are exactly what you'd expect from this kind of film - a bunch of Jocks who act like utter tossers just because they can and some authority figures who just don't listen, man.  

 You have to wonder what the hell was going on in American schools when the last two generations of film-makers were growing up. Somebody ended up with some real issues. 

  The story is straightforward with few real twists, none that can't be seen from a mile off anyway. No real wacky hijinks either. This is a PG film which does limit the shenanigans a bit.

How much did I pay for this: £1

Was it worth it?  Once I'd stopped being angry at the blatant bait & switch, "Rise of the Fellowship" is an ok movie. Not stellar and "Fanboys" does the same thing but better. 

 Having said that "Rise of the Fellowship" has its moments and enough charm to keep me watching so, yes, I'd say this film was worth the quid I paid. 

Ler me finish with a personal message from me to the misbegotten son of an ape who came up with the packaging. And all the other tossers who keep pulling this trick. 

  That's all folks.