The Plot
A group of Neo-Nazi militia nutters led by disgruntled US Army officer "General Kraft" are blowing stuff up.
In a bid to improve their blowing-stuff up capability, the United Patriot Movement, capture a prominent nuclear silo expert.
That does not bode well, does it?
When a failed attempt at rescuing said results in an entire Special Forces team getting riddled with bullets the lone survivor, Lt Jack Tannen, , goes off to do some sulking, some brooding and some running in slow motion wearing a vest.
When the expert's photogenic daughter Jessica asks him for help our blond hero tells her to get bent. But as is traditional, the bad guys try to kidnap her right under his frigging nose and so Tannen gets his hero pants back on.
Take a wild guess as to what the UPM are planning?
It's a 90s action movie that isn't about druglords and I've already mentioned a nuclear silo expert. Do I need to draw a diagram? The name of the movie is also a giant, giant hint.
The baddies capture a secret nuclear silo that fails at being secret and doesn't do so well at being secure either, before demanding that the President resign - and enough money to fill up a swimming pool.
Tannen puts together a team of generic tough guys, shanghais Jessica into coming along - because his team needs a token chick with nice hair - and heads for the silo despite being told not too. Nudge nudge, wink wink.
I won't tell you the ending, just in case you still want to watch this movie.
But if you're expecting anything other than what actually happens then you're probably an idiot.
What I thought.
The bad guy has a beard and a ponytail.
I think that tells you all you need to know.
"Warhead" is a generic mid-90s action movie with a low/low-middling budget and very little star power. The biggest name is Joe Lara - who played Tarzan in a tv series so off the grid that Freeview stations don't bother rerunning it- while everybody else is so obscure that they don't even have a cult following.
I'm not saying the cast is bad, because most of them do the best with what they have, but this film is already struggling to stand out from pallet-load upon pallet-load of similar films.
There's some decent explosions though. And I have to give some grudging respect to any film that features rocket firing jetskis.
How much did I pay for this: 50p
Was it worth it. I suppose so. If you like dumb 1990s action movies where the hero has a fistfight in a nuclear silo with a pony-tailed bad guy, "Warhead" may occupy your time in a positive manner.
Screenshot time.
Lt Trannen - All American Hero. Dolph Lundgren presumably not available.
Stuff goes bang. Weeeee
A bloke in a suit from Washington. Complete wanker.
Guys who lead rightwing militias are not normally this photogenic.
He's got all his own teeth, only one chin and a healthy BMI for starters.
Trannen runs in a vest in slow-mo.
This shows how much he's grieving for his lost buddies
You thought I was kidding about the rocket-firing jetskis, didn't ya?.
Non -Soldier Jessica wonders what she's doing here.
Also hoping the boat doesn't hit any floating logs because
that guy behind her knows shit about trigger discipline.
That's all folks.
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