Life In the city can be murder and in the mean streets there is only one man who can protect the unprotected from the world of criminals. Ray "The City Dragon" is that one man. He is the one man who can bring all challenges to their knees.
Ray and his friends Philthy Phil and Rick roam the streets in search of justice. When the trio decide to visit the local club scene, they get far more than they bargained for...
Going by the picture, the back cover blurb and the fact that the star is calling himself MC Kung Fu. it seems a reasonable assumption that City Dragon would be a kickass, urban Kung-Fu flick about revenge and stuff. Right?
Err...no.
What actually happens: Ray and his homies are a trio of wannabe playas sleazing their way through the city's local female population until one day Ray meets that one special girl who he doesn't want to pump 'n' dump. Her abusive ex-boyfriend is somewhat displeased about this and gets violent.
Fast forward a few months. Ray and the lovely Tina are now married but things are not going well. Tina is pregnant and feeling neglected, Ray is struggling at work for all sorts of reasons, and the psycho ex is about to escape from the State Asylum.
Kung-Fu does happen occasionally but most of the time seems to have been crammed in just because a film starring MC KUNG FU needs to have some spin-kicks in there somewhere.
Climax aside, fights happen because somebody randomly decides to mess with Ray for the hell of it.
Christ knows the punchups are nothing special. MC Kung Fu spins a mean set of Nunchucks but the fight choreographer phoned it in.
The major problem I had - besides the film not being what the cover promised yet again - is that within minutes of Ray being introduced I disliked him intensely. He's a cocky wanker who bounces from one conquest to the next and clearly thinks he's captain Cool Bollocks.
Oh, and he delivers 80% of his dialogue in rhyme. Ugh.
It's really quite cringeworthy and although he does get a bit better, the initial damage is done.
His mates are worse.
The end result is a film that can't work out whether it wants to be about a trio of hip-hop hustlers, a drama about relationships or a martial arts movie and ends up being a dogs breakfast.
You get the impression that somebody wanted to make a movie about their great alter-ego that the ladies love and the guys don't mess with. That rarely works.
How much did I pay for this: 50p
Was It Worth it: Did you even read the rest of the review? City Dragon is a dull mess with an obnoxious hero and a terrible soundtrack. Avoid.
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