Genre: Sharksploitation
WW2: An experiment to create unstoppable soldiers by combining Frankenstein's monster with sharks is shut down by the SS and the research taken away to North America.
Modern day: People are mysteriously disappearing from the wars around a small American town. Hmm. Wonder what could be causing that...
Naturally the film on the DVD cover isn't the film you actually get. No jets, no bikini babes and nowhere near the budget. Or any budget at all.
"Sharkenstein" is very, very low-budget and this is made painfully apparent within the first couple of scenes.
Now I could just post a picture of Sharkenstein and that would tell you everything you need to know but I shall get a few more shots in first.
Let's skip ahead to our protagonists and yet more questions.
As far as I can tell, the three holidaymakers dress, talk and behave like youngsters: College-age in fact.
At least one of them is in the right age-range
But she does seem visibly confused as to her companions.
A bit old for college and definitely too old to wear your hat like that unless you're called "Bubba"
Dad, you're drunk. turn your hat round the right way.
Did the producers think we wouldn't notice or, as I suspect, they used some mates that were cheap and available.
Needless to say the acting quality is not high, but considering the story and dialogue are downright ropey I wouldn't blame anybody for half-assing it.
One of many problems this film has is that it's deeply stupid - it's about a mad Nazi creating a Frankenstein shark FFS - but there are ways of making stupid films fun. Asylum have made a lucrative career out of dumb films where the viewer is in on the joke. The Sharknado franchise is on it's 5th instalment and keeps upping the ridiculous ante every time. So Sharkenstein is the sort of idea that makes great, after-pub, ironic viewing in the right hands but unfortunately those hands were busy somewhere else.
Or to put it another way, a film about a shark stitched together by Nazis with a Zombie brain manages to be dull.
The only amusement to be had is marvelling at the shark FX.
Time to see the Sharkenstein itself.
It's a fricking rubber model. Also extremely un-scary.
Here it is in action.
That's about as good as it gets and believe me the underwater attacks aren't even that dynamic
At one point it's blatantly obvious that somebody offscreen is holding the shark's tail and woggling it about a bit.
Over the last few years the bar for stupid shark films keeps getting higher as producers try and keep things fresh by trotting out one coke-fuelled concept after another. (Supersharks, shark tornados, sand sharks, ghost sharks, zombie sharks) and Sharkenstein comes nowhere near matching that level of entertainment
It does set one benchmark though. Sharkenstein is easily the most rubbish Shark movie I have ever seen.
Congratulations.
How much did I pay for this? £2
Was it worth it? No. No. No. Sharkenstein has very little going for it and serves only to give me a new l;ow-point to measure other shark Movies against. Not recommended.
I'll finish with a screenshot that seems appropriate.
No comments:
Post a Comment