A Short List Of Things Somebody Really Needs To Invent.

Because it's hot and that's making me grumpy I thought I'd share some thoughts on inventions the world ought to have but doesn't...Yet.

Seagull-Proof Binbags
Because on bin day the feathery, squawking bastards always get up extra early to have some fun with the piled-up binbags.  I don't know about anybody else but I really, really appreciate having to tiptoe through piles of rotting garbage on way way to work.

A Sensible Corned Beef Tin.
Why the bloody hell are these things such a twat to open?  Even if you manage to wield the tiny key properly, yous till have to poke and prod the corned beef to get it out of the tin. God help you if you lose the key or it snaps.  Corned Beef tins are damn-near impossible to open with a conventional tin-opener and they are razor sharp to boot.

Bus Seats Designed for Humans. 
I refuse to believe anybody involved in designing bus seats has seen a normal-sized human or a normally-shaped human. The alternative is that they were deliberately designed to be uncomfortable.

A Self-Stirring Saucepan.   
I admit it, I just want one of these because I'm lazy and stirring stuff is boring.  I'd also really like a frying-pan where it was the same constant temperature across the whole bloody thing.  I should not have to shuffle my sausages about in this day and age.

A Remote Control That Stays Where You Bloody Put It. 
Alternatively: A Remote Control That Has  A Homing Beacon attached. 
Because I don't like having to dismantle my sofa and conduct a fingertip search through my entire living room to find a damn remote. especially when my programme is just coming on.

A Sonic Weapon You Can Fire down The Phone At Cold Callers and  Microsoft Scammers That Will Make Them Shit Themselves.  
Do I really need to explain this one?  Maybe Phase 2 would be something to make Grammerly adverts fuck off from Youtube forever.

Any you can think of?  Let me know. 

That's All Folks.