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Saturday 10 August 2024

Heavy Metal Cover Girls - Actually Wearing Armour

 Hello and welcome to another edition of Heavy Metal Cover Girls. 

 There's a very good reason why I keep posting album covers with women warriors on them. Heavy metal artists have created lot and lot of them. At this point I think I've done six posts and I could easily do another ten more. 
 
 But today I fancied doing something a bit different. Out of all the pics I have saved, amongst all the chain-mail bikinis and topless amazons, how many of these women are actually wearing proper armour. 

 I found six 


Ok then, let's dive in, shall we?

Fiona - Greatest Hits (USA 2009)

Fiona - Greatest Hits

This one is cheating a bit because somebody just recycled a bit of Dragonlance artwork.
It's also an odd choice for an artist who has no fantasy influences in her music whatsoever.  

Savage Grace - Sign of the Cross (USA 2023)


Savage Grace - Sign of the cross

Not wearing a helmet but to be honest, I don't know how she'd get all that hair under a bascinet anyway. 
The rest of the harness seems pretty realistic though. 
 I do want to know the story with the bloody guy at her feet. 
Friend? Enemy? 
Is she offering the late rites or telling him "I told you I'd get my revenge."


Scythia - Lineage (Canada 2016)

Scythia - Lineage
 In a rare example, she is wearing more armour than he is and look how that worked out.



Simacota - Suando El Silencio Se Rompe  (Colombia 2017)


Why are none of them wearing a damn helmet? 
Anyway, a nice samurai-influenced rig that protects most of the important bits and the 
designer has resisted the urge  to add a boob-window, boob plates or massive shoulderpads. 
I approve. 

A Sound of Thunder - Only One Can Rule EP ( USA 2024)


A Sound of Thunder - only one can rule

I guess she couldn't find a helmet that fit her horns.
I also feel those spikes on her should plates are more a menace to her than the enemy.
Minor Quibbles.  

This last one is stretching it a bit but I want to emphasise something here.

Even though her armour is apparently put together from bits found in the bin,
she is still wearing more armour than normal.  

Soleil Moon - Warrior (USA 2019)


 You're not wearing any padding so that's gonna chafe you to buggery. 
Maybe once you kill that wizard, you can upgrade to some leg armour too. 

For those of you missing the chainmail bikinis, normal (fan)service will be resumed next time I do one of these. 
Or I might post Gorgons instead. We shall see how I feel. 

That's All Folks

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