Terrible Metal Album Covers Chapter 11

Since I seem to be a bit out of ideas at the moment I shall fall back on my ever-reliable Plan B : Put up a selection of album covers that are an offence to Art, Music and the very gods themselves.

 And today's selection all have one thing in common. Somebody, somewhere thought this was "Sexy"

 Crystal Castle - October Hymns (Canada 2001)

  Because when I think of October I automatically picture an orange woman squatting 

over a clutch of pumpkins while being felt up by an ineptly drawn werewolf. 

Enforcer - Into The Night (Sweden 2008)

You can see where they thought they were going with this but the result is something 

that once seen, cannot be unseen. Congratulations guys, you just invented HP Lovecraft Porn. 

Wizz - Crazy Games (Sweden 1984)

From time to time valiant spacefarers would be lured to  the barren moon she called home.

Distracted by her clinging nightie and granny underwear they would notice too late 

that her face was only a badly-fitting mask. When it fell away, revealing the horror beneath,

their eyes would melt and she would drink their liquified brains through the sockets. 

We're still on Lovecraft porn aren't we? 

Sinful - Gonna Raise Hell EP (USA 1985)

For some reason I find myself  mentally stuck on the words "Cheap" and "Tacky"

Note that the bozos in the background are not chained to anything besides each other.  

Maninnya Blade - Merchants In Metal (Sweden 1986)

I will not make a joke about Rampant Rabbits...

I will not make a joke about Rampant Rabbits...

 I will not make a joke about Rampant Rabbits...

Moving swiftly on to something that  even by 80s standards was just wrong, wrong,wrong. 

Oral - Sex EP (UK 1985)

 

Three refugees from the Benny Hill Show try their hand at this "Metal" thing.

You know how I normally say a bad album cover does not mean a bad band?

Feel free to disregard that in this case. 

Dragonsfire - Metal Service (Germany 2010)

So what's the problem with this one.

The artist can actually draw...

He's given his covergirl proper clothes..

Ok so she doesn't look like the sharpest tool in the box but...

Wait..is she pregnant? 

Niiice.

And finally.

Iron Kingdom - Curse Of The Voodoo Queen (Canada 2011)

The curse being: You will forever suck at drawing faces.

That's all folks.  

I'm going to go off and..I dunno...read some books or something.