Why do I feel that somebody needs to raise the issues affecting men?
Because...Despite what people think, depression, stress and grief cannot be cured with the magic words "Man up"
Because ...The only way to get people to give a shit about prostate cancer - a disease that kills thousands of men a year - is to claim women are victims too.
Because...A man can get his dick cut off and stuck down a garbage disposal machine and tv hosts will call it "fabulous"
Because...Women attacking men is not only OK but is actively encouraged as some sort of bullshit "empowerment"
...But God forbid he should defend himself in any way shape or form.
Because...If the police turn up to a DV incident and get confronted with a man bleeding from a vase-inflicted cut to the forehead, they will probably nick him instead.
Because..if a battered male tries to get help, most shelters and helplines don't want to know.
.. And a few will accuse him of being a batterer himself.
... And the media will laugh at him.
Because...Men have died at the hands of women, unable or unwilling to defend themselves.
Because... A female head teacher can get up in front of a national conference and tell them "There's no point in trying to teach boys anything. they're too stupid" and nobody will call her on it.
Because...Education has been failing boys all over the Anglosphere for years and the teaching industry cheerfully ignores them in favour of the pressing issue: Not enough girls wanting to be plumbers.
Because...Any job that is dirty, involves being away from home or could get you killed is almost invariably done by men.
..And somehow this makes them "privileged"
Because...A man can end up in prison purely because a woman regretted having sex.
Because... A male cabbie can almost end up in prison because a group of girls decided they weren't going to pay him.
Because...Male workers should not have to carry recording devices to protect themselves from false accusations.
Because..."Innocent until proven guilty" doesn't apply in rape cases or harassment accusations.
Because... In a divorce a man can lose his home, his kids and his pension almost overnight.
Because... A man can be ordered to pay more in alimony and child-support than he earns.
Because... A man can be ordered to pay child support for a kid that isn't even his.
Because... A man can suddenly find himself a father despite being told she was taking birth control...
Because ...Every other month there's an article on the lines of "Why aren't men getting married anymore? How dare they think they can devote time and money to stuff they want to do instead."
Because...Everytime I take my two little nieces to a playground, I'd like to do so without a gaggle of mums glaring at me.
Because...I resent this idea that the only thing stopping me from raping somebody is a two-colour poster.
Because... Every time I turn on the Tv I get to watch yet another man bumbling through life, barely evolved from a starfish.
Because...I am so tired of people thinking I should be ashamed of having a penis.
Because..I would quite like to be able to say "Hey look, being a guy in the 21st Century isn't always fun" without being hammered with "patriarchy" "male privilege" "Centuries of oppression" "Womanhater" and 101 other variations on "Shut the fuck up you...you.. MAN, you
Fuck me, that was a galloping read. Brave post. And all completely true, obviously.
ReplyDeleteBravo sir.
Great post, Big D. I agree with many of the points you've raised here, especially regarding child support and alimony, the ease with which men are suspected or accused of rape/sexual harassment, and the way fathers are portrayed as oafs by the media. Double standards abound for both sexes, and neither deserves to be subjected to denigration, profiling, or stereotyping. I've raised twin boys and been married three times, and am happy to share the company of a few good men! :-)
ReplyDeleteWow! Powerful stuff Dt. Equal rights is still the way to go.
ReplyDeleteCheers, ic
Not mad at all. It's probably true what you say. I guess women have been fighting for so many rights along the way that it has become common ground. We still don't make the same wages, even though we work as hard sometimes. I know you don't want to hear that. This is a guy rant and you are most definitely entitled to it. You make some terrific points. No, I don't believe being a man in the 21st century is easy at all. There are a hell of a lot of aspects you speak of that don't excite me at all. BUT I still say, if reincarnation is an option, I want to come back as a male. I've had it with woman's rights and problems, reproduction, menstrual flows, menopause and the like. I need a break. Besides, I've always wanted a suit jacket with pockets on the inside, be able to stand up and pee, and hang a towel from my penis. It's my turn, damn it.
ReplyDeleteBig D...Bravo for writing this! I may not agree with everything you wrote but I actually agree with much of it. Depression, stress and grief cannot be cured by saying, “man up.” They are not magic words. I have a brother suffering from depression and grief so I know this to be true. People are not helping him when they tell him to “man up” and get over it. Have to agree with you on bullshit empowerment and a few other things too. I never thought about shelters or help for battered men, such a good point, we should have that. I have seen cases of men being wrongly accused of mistreating women (happened to a couple of male teachers in my area), and even when they were proven to be innocent, their careers were over, so wrong. And that brings me to the way those mums glare at you when you take your nieces to a playground. That attitude is all too pervasive and nobody is addressing it. I understand the need for women to be cautious especially where children are involved, but really women need to start realizing all men with children in tow are not perverts. Women are still not equal to men in ways such as wages, but I think we have gained some rights perhaps at the expense of men and that’s not fair. Excellent points in your post!
ReplyDeleteThere is definitely a prejudice that exists. I've known men in abusive relationships that were told to "man up" and were offered no help at all. Were a woman to come seeking advice/help she would have received an overflow of both. Also, men who want to be stay at home dads are ridiculed. It's like people think that devoting your life to the well being of a child is a knock to their manhood. Society needs to change. Thanks for sharing your thoughts honestly. They're powerful.
ReplyDeleteI am beginning to really dislike the phrase "Man up"
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