My Top Ten...Cheesy (but fun) 80s Rock Videos.

  One of my biggest gripes with the current Metal music scene is that while the videos are vastly improved in terms of production values and lighting they aren't what you would call fun.
Way too many vids feature a band in a warehouse. Those going for something a bit more epic are almost inevitably in muted colours and going for the statement. "We're artistic, so we are."

Don't get me wrong. There's some great videos out there. (Nightwish immediately spring to mind.) but I do kinda miss the days when Heavy Metal/Hard Rock bands weren't afraid to wear bright colours and wave toy guns.

 So, just for the hell of it, here's a selection of 80s Rock vids featuring women with big hair, men with big hair, dubious acting, bands not afraid to wear yellow spandex and above all...FUN.

  Just to make things a bit more interesting, I'm not going to include some of the big names you'd expect. If you like your 80s rock then chances are you have already seen   "Breaking the Law", "I Wanna Rock", "Hot For Teacher" and "Gimme All Your Loving" a dozen times over.  Hopefully some of these will come as a pleasant surprise.

Let's start with an under-rated band, a video with a very simple idea and quite a nifty guitar solo.

Autograph - Send Her to Me (USA 1985)

(I'm guessing the director only heard the chorus before planning this vid.

Also, is it weird that my favourite girl in this video is the one right at the end?

It's the way she smiles.)

Honour to: teokeh00

Helter Skelter - Dr. Jekyll (Germany 1988)

(Obscure Teutonic glam rockers ham it up in some very peculiar outfits indeed.
The lead singer in particular is wearing trousers that Dave Lee Roth would order taken away and burned.  )

Honour to: Deathrose1985

Lionheart - Die For Love (UK 1984)

(A NWOBHM "Supergroup" that included ex-members of Iron Maiden, Tygers Of Pan Tang among others
 but never quite managed to keep a stable lineup.
 The video features the band as the most conspicuous commandos in military history)

Honour to: HardRockas

It's been a bit lightweight so far so how about something a bit heavier?

Savatage - Hall Of The Mountain King (USA 1987)

(In which the band terrorise an unfortunate dwarf.
After this Savatage started getting more ambitious but here they are pure US Metal,
showcasing the late Criss Oliva's guitar talents and brother Jon's trademark evil laugh.
My battle-jacket has a Savatage patch in prime position on the back. I wear it with pride ) 

Honour to: earMUSIC

   Incidentally, there's a great story from the making of the "Hall.." promo. Supposedly the little person who was the star of the vid spent the best part of  48 hours solid glued into his makeup and costume, surviving on liquids and even sleeping in the damn thing.Yet he still kept going like an utter trooper.

  Nobody could work out where he was getting his energy from until the director walked into the gents toilet and found lead singer Jon Oliva holding the dwarf upside down, a straw up his nose, over an enormous line of cocaine. 

 "Jon." sighed the auteur. "Put the dwarf down and let's get back to work."

Zebra - Tell Me What You Want  (1983)

(A band that always had more in common with Rush than Ratt so the vid has aspirations to some sort of artistic statement. 

As with a lot of early 80s vids the end result is ...peculiar.)

Honour to: Ryder276

I blame all that smoke. You didn't think it was dry ice, did you?

Bullet - I Sold My Soul To Rock And Roll (Germany 1984)

(Gonzoid German boogie merchants - famous for one of the tackiest album covers of all time - with their version of the Faust legend. 

Badly choreographed dancing girls a bonus.)

 Honour to: JMZilver

Queensryche - Queen Of The Reich (USA 1983)

 (A video that Queensryche don't like to talk about these days. Wonder why?)

Honour to: QueensrycheVEVO

 Grim Reaper - Fear No Evil (UK 1984)

(Another of those vids where the band arrive to save the day)

Honour to: andrewotherside7

Compare and contrast with..

Zodiac Mindwarp And the Love Reaction - Prime Mover (UK 1987)

(Where a bunch of filthy grebos use an armoured car to bust into a girls school and corrupt the obviously-not-teenaged inhabitants with the power of Sleaze rock)

Honour to: artfairy?

Y&T - Don't Stop Running (USA 1984)

(In which a lovelorn geek gets to play hero)

Honour to: JohnFindlater

Obviously there were all sorts of bands I could have used: Helix, Honeymoon Suite, W.A.S.P, Saxon, Raven, Killer Dwarfs...

Screw it. Just as a bonus (And to show you how many band-plays-hero vids there were in the 80s) I present for your consideration a vid that didn't make it into the above list due to being black and white.

 Thor - Knock 'Em Down (Canada 1985)

Honour to: Epitaph6663

That's all folks.