Terrible Metal Album Covers Chapter 20

I have been asked "You post a lot of album covers with women on them. How about some with men for a change?"  

No, hang on a mo, I've been asked this by literally nobody  but, just for the sake of fairness, today's post has the theme of ...

Men! 

Manly men doing manly things.

But drawn badly. 

You can imagine that the artist was naked if you like

I'm going to regret this, I know I am....

Centvrion - Non Plus Ultra (Italy 2002)

Why is he glowing?

Why is he apparently fondling a shotgun?

How are you supposed to pronounce "Centvrion" anyway?

Contagious - Free Indeed (USA 1988)

A Christian band which explains the symbolism.

Although I still don't understand why the devil in the background doesn't seem to have any feet.

Cryonic - Kings Of Avalon  (Sweden 2010)

How much do you want to bet that the band aren't that well-defined in real life?

Dwarr - Animals (USA 1986)

Our muscular Rock warrior had to stand like that for almost ten minutes before any of the Morlocks finally noticed his dramatic arrival. He then had to scuttle behind a rock and rub the life back into his badly-cramped arm.  Ah well. Even Conan had a few duff entrances in his time. 

Mistress - Heavy Mental (USA 2013)

Well she seems unexpectedly cheerful about being decapitated.

Scavenger - Battlefields (Belgium 1985)

Ah, the classic "sun-bronzed barbarian and his savage she-devil" idea.

Let down by the artist having only the vaguest idea how to draw jawlines.  

I'm not kidding. Take a look at this art again. It's not bad - right up until you  take a close look at their faces.

And I've been saving this one for last. 

You ready ladies?

Ezy Meat - Not for Wimps (UK 1984)

There's a few reasons nude motorcycling never took off in the UK. 

Some nasty cases of Gravel Rash after accidents. Public disapproval. Wind-chill factor.

But most of all... once petrol stations found out where he was keeping his wallet, they refused to serve him.

That's all folks.