Blogging And Bad Movies

 I've been doing this blog since December 2011 and while for the most part it's been fun I can't help noticing that there's some unfortunate side-effects.
 
There's the fascination with pageviews for starters. In the beginning I was just happy when people were reading the blog. Now I start getting worried when I get 50 pageviews less  than yesterday.

 You know,  I was absolutely delighted when I got my first ever spam comment. Well, it meant that the internet had actually noticed me!

God help me, I'm even looking forward to getting my first visiting troll.

 But the most drastic impact has been on my DVD buying tastes.

Once upon a time I was just like you. I would flip through the racks in HMV, searching for something that might be worth watching.

Now I prowl through CEX, scanning the racks for that title that screams "Pick me! I'm going to suck hairy gibbon balls!" just on the offchance that I might have something amusing to say about it.

Which means I've watched some real shite in the last couple of years.

Oh Eric...  

 A T-Rex crossed with a marine iguana terrorises a vaguely specified Caribbean island.  

   Brooke notches up another crap shark film. 

 Badly CGI'd worms eat people. The end. 

How the oinking *** did they manage to make this so lame? 

Great premise. Not a great film. 

 More "At the Earth's Core" but with no Caroline Munroe or Doug McClure.

 Instead you get women in vests and spiders. Big spiders

 

Almost the entire second half takes place in a frigging barn. 

 Truthfully I would not recommend any of these films unless you have a morbid fascination with cinematic failure.
  Remember folks, I actually paid grown-up money for every single one of these, sat through it,  then plonked meself down in front of the PC and realised that I could not think of a single interesting thing to say.

Unless "You might enjoy it if you're into bad movies. And drunk. And have this vague guilt that you don't deserve good movies because you stole £3 from your mum's purse and used it to rent "Porkies II" when you were 16."

 I watched "Frozen" the other day and was mildly astonished at the experience. I mean, I was watching the film and enjoying it rather than looking for things to make fun of.

 Maybe I'm not utterly beyond hope.

 That's all folks