Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Witchy Women.

My plan was to do an HMCG  post every day for a week but thanks to some unforeseen complications last nights' post didn't happen.  Drat.

So to make up for it, here's some Heavy Metal album covers with sexy witches. Clothing may be optional.

 Graveshadow - Nocturnal Resurrection. (USA 2015)

  Just because somebody is ripping somebody from their eternal rest 

(and having fun doing so) does not mean that this young lady is a Bad Witch.

You don't really believe that either, do you?

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Fierce Faeries

While doing this series I've covered several different varieties of supernatural femmes:  Witches, Succubi, Angels, Goddesses,  Mermaids and stranger things. However, if you were to ask what otherworldy creatures were happily adorning Metal cover albums I think there's one group you'd not be expecting.

Fairies.  Or if you want to use a more magical magickal term. Faeries. 

  Get past the sanitised version from kiddies bedtime stories and fairies Faeries are not to be messed with.
They might have pretty wings but the little folk have magic, cunning and a short fuse.  So I don't think you'll keep this lot happy with a saucer of buttermilk.

Catharsis - Imago (Russia 2002)

Heavy Metal Cover Girls...Get Tattooed

Evening All. 

Anybody up for some more metal cover stars?

 Excellent. Now you wait right there while I find something suitable.  

   I continue to be amazed by how many album covers have pin-up covers. I'm also amazed how many times a seemingly random motif will come up on one CD after another. I suppose it could be that old adage "Nothing new under the sun." It could also be that an artist trying to get over a particular mood or message will independently hit on something that's worked so well for others. 

    Or they just nick ideas off each other. 

Either way, it's very rare for me to find an album cover without finding something similar a week later. 

For this selection, what clearly happened is the lead singer saying to the artist "Hey. why not put a logo on the back of a half-naked woman. It'll look really cool and I bet nobody else has ever done it."

Oh you could not be more wrong...

 Hammerschmitt - United (Germany 2016)

Have you been rolling around in the dust again? 

Go take a shower young lady.

Hammerschmitt are grinding Germanic metal

Dreamspell - По заклинаниям сна (Russia 2015)

"По заклинаниям сна" is "In Sleep Spells"according to Google Translate.

So that would be ..."Dream Spells" then.

This band are not what I was expecting at all.

The next 3 aren't exactly Heavy Metal but they're close cousins.

Fergie Fredriksen- Happiness Is the Road (USA 2011)

Personally I believe happiness does not entail hanging around a dusty roadside in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. 

Each to their own.

Fergie Fredriksen is semi-legendary in AOR circles.

Modern Superstar - Under My Skin (USA 2011)

 Butt Cleavage!

How come she can get away with it but I can't?

Modern Superstar would have fitted right in to the Sunset Strip scene of 1991.

Asphalt Valentine - Into The Red (USA 2014)

She really lies that wallpaper, hey?

Asphalt Valentine are scuzzy hard rock.

And finally...

 Mad Mav - Black Sheep (Germany 2008)

 A surprisingly restrained tattoo but the band clearly liked the idea because they broke it out again a few years later. 

And like any good sequel, it wasn't just more of the same - but more of the same. 

  Mad Mav - The Fiddler Queen (Germany 2012)

   You have to be really confident as a band to leave your name off the album cover. 

You also have to be supremely comfortable in your skin  to play violin in public while in your pants. 

Mad Mav is a one man instrumental project. 

Literally one man - he seems to play everything. 

Dang.

That's all folks
See you tomorrow. 

Heavy Metal Cover Girls - No Visible Means of Support

One of these days I'll have to do a header for HMCG, even if it's only a logo.  

  Time for some more album covers that are totally not about putting some eye candy on the sleeve to sell more units.  

 In all seriousness, you can usually spot the ones where the artist wanted to evoke a mood, as opposed to engage some hormones. If there's a massive pair of butt-cheeks front and centre then yeah, definitely in the latter camp. 

   What I'm hoping to do with this series is a) show off some cool artwork and b) demonstrate how often very different bands hit on similar themes for their covers.  As an example, today we're looking at the theme "Women in mid air."  

   You'll note that none of them have wings. That's a whole other subject. 

You'll also note that clothes seem to make the process difficult. 

   Cain's Dinasty - The Hollow Earth (Spain 2015)

Levitation Level: 9000 - Achieving Earth orbit. 

The tricky part is getting back down. 

I do like this cover. I think it's the serene expression on her face.

Cain's Dinasty are Power Metal in a  similar bracket to.. Hammerfall, maybe?
Give them a listen and see for yourself. 

 Wrathchild - Delirium (UK 1989)

   The colours man... the colours!

Evesham's Glam Rock Legends would probably have been bigger if they'd been from LA and not err... Evesham.

Ne Spitsya - The Awakening (Russia 2014)

Admit it. You want to be able to do this too.

I couldn't find any videos online, which is a shame because I think they'd be the kind of thing I like.

Revelation - Осознание (Belarus 2011)

Now this is the sort of album cover where you start wondering "What's going on here?"
Is she time travelling?
Did she just fall off a really big clock?
Why did she think clingfilm would make a suitable material for wings?
We will never know.

Revelation are Gothic/Doom Metal and I'm fairly certain they're the first band from Belarus to appear on this blog.

Ghosthill - Flying Through Imagination (Russia 2012)

Why are there so many Eastern European bands this time around?

That's weird.

This has an old-time feel to the artwork? Like something from the 19th century maybe?

Ghosthill are a female fronted band with a melodic take on Power Metal.
I  am impressed so I might check out some more tunes

Stardust Reverie - Proclamation Of Shadows (International 2015)

I think she's floating like that because they needed the rest of the cover to fit all the names on.

While the artists involved might have backgrounds in Heavy rock, all the songs I've heard so far are more lightweight.
Not bad, just don't expect double-bass drumming and sweep-picking.

And finally..

Vattnet Viskar - Settler (USA 2015)

Ooh. Sensible clothing. Isn't that a rarity on here?

Vattnet Viskar are "Atmospheric Post Black Metal" according to METAL ARCHIVES
I've given up trying to keep track of all these sub-genres and sub-sub-genres.
It's just gotten silly.
The band however are not silly. Have a listen.

That's all folks.

See you tomorrow. 

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Sadness and Sorrow

 Day two of this weeks' HMCG marathon and I'm afraid this one might be a bit of a downer.

  Sometimes you don't need words to know when something is wrong. When somebody is curled in on themselves, that's a giveaway that they need a kind word and a hug.

   When you see this on an album cover, the artist is trying to put over the idea that this isn't going to be wham-bam-thank-you-mam rawk, but something with a bit more emotion.

  Some album cover stars are full of life. Some are full of bloody rage. What we have here is girls holding themselves together..

  Trail Of Tears - Profoundemonium (Norway 2000)

    The artist is clearly trying to show somebody vulnerable here...

Oi.!

    Stop trying to peer up her towel you perv. 

Trail Of Tears are Gothic/Black Metal with the classic Gravel/Soprano vocal combo. 

Moving on to an artist that's more AOR than Metal.

Robin Beck - Underneath (USA 2013)

It's interesting that Robin is doing almost exactly the same pose but looks more drawn in on herself.
As with the Trail of Tears cover, it's also hard to see the connection between the album title and the artwork
What does "Profoundemonium2 mean anyway?

There's a reason Robin Beck is so well thought of in Melodic rock circles.

Cattarse - Blackwater (Brazil 2016)

I think we can all agree that things have gone horribly wrong for this poor girl.

The combination of Curled up + Water + White Clothing is evidently quite a popular one.


Cattarse probably means something quite different in Portuguese.
The band are sorta-retro-with-a-groove Hard Rock

I'd better post another actual Metal band before I get done for false advertising.

Marge Litch - Ring Of Truth (Japan 1992)

   Just screams "Vulnerable" doesn't ?

Also screams "Get down from there before you bloody freeze. He wasn't worth it"

The band are Symphonic Metal with a distinctly Japanese flavour.

The next two are like something from a horror film.

Dark Sky  - Empty Faces (Germany 2008)

 How creepy this cover is depends entirely on whether you think here eyes are downcast
Or wide open and glowing as they stare into your soul.

We're back in the realms of Melodic Hard Rock again.

The Relapse Symphony - Shadows (USA 2014)

Oh that's frigging creepy.
I hate the way dolls stare at you.

I was exepcting The Relapse Symphony to be Gothic Metal
Turns out they're modern Kerrang Glam

Fatal Impact - Esoteria (Norway 2012)

Under the circumstances, I can't blame you for giving up.
I could lie but when you can see the moon exploding in the sky, positive thoughts aren't gonna help.

Fatal Impact are  proper Heavy/Power Metal
They don't have much on Youtube so this track is off the subsequent album "Cancel Life"

Weeping Silence - Theatre Of Life (Malta 2011)

        When times are bad, a combination of Yoga and her secuity blankie always makes her feel better.

I don't think I've ever posted a Maltese band before, so this is an interesting experience for me. 

Weeping Silence are another band that use angelic female vocals to counterpoint male growling. 

And finally, a band from another country not known for their Metal.

Iluminata - A World So Cold (Austria 2011)

Yeah, you're just milking it now, aren't you?

This female fronted Alpine outfit are Power/Symphonic metal.

That's all folks
See you tomorrow. 

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Don't Fear The Reapers

 Evening all. 

  I haven't done an HMCG post in a while so i thought it was about time I dug into my collection of album covers - lovingly gathered from all over the internet - and put up another collection of beautiful ladies doing Metal stuff.   

  Then I had a bright idea. 

I've already done an entire week of Metal Project posts. Why not do the same for HMCG?

Which is why, for the next seven days I will be posting album covers for your perusal. 

Some will be themes I've done before but I promise I'll post some new stuff as well. 

So without further ado... here we go.

The theme today is "Women With Scythes."  Not the Grim Reaper of legend (not unless he's had a glam makeover and a bit of serious body modification) but definitely about to harvest somebody.

All our times have come...

Here but now they're gone.... 

 Thunder And Lightning - In Charge Of The Scythe (Germany 2013)

    I think somebody just got demoted to Afterlife Tea Boy. 

I like the artwork on this. Very much like something you'd see on a comic.
I'd probably definitely buy that comic too. 

If you like melodic, thundering Power Metal these guys might float yer boat. 

Elvenking - The Scythe (Italy 2007)

  Is it just me or does she look really pissed off? 

In fact, she looks like she cut her way back out of the afterlife to sort out some unfinished business. 

You can stay and chat to her if you like. I'm legging it. 

Elvenking are more tuneful than you'd expect from the cover.

Ishtar - Conquest (S. Korea 2011)

Technically that's probably an axe .

Or it could be springloaded and when she lets go of the blade it springs out with a "BOYOIIINNGGG!"

Fun times - unless you're in the way. 

As far as I can tell Ishtar are a bit like older Nightwish.
(Sort of on the border of Power Metal and Symphonic)
Which might explain why Tarja picked them to open up for her Japan tour.  

Lady Reaper  S/T(Italy 2015)

 I have no idea why she isn't wearing underpants and frankly I don't care..

These young Italians are straight up HM.

Homepage here: https://www.facebook.com/LadyReaperBand/ 

And finally, a band that are a bit of a mystery. 

Something Obscura

Year, nationality and actual band name unknown.

Does anybody know any more about them? 

That's all folks.

See you tomorrow. 

Furious Road: Not furious and there aren't any roads in it.

"THE WORLD IS OVER...

THE BATTLE TO SURVIVE HAS JUST BEGUN"

 "Sol, a bold fugitive lost in a dangerous post-apocalypse desert world, searches for a missing woman named Catherine and her illusive captor the Nomad King.

 With enemies at every turn, Sol's only chance of finding Catherine is with the help of a rogue and mysterious wander, Cleo"

 Between the cover and the blurb I had certain expectations of this movie.

  I admit it, I was expecting a blatant clone of Mad Max: Fury Road.  I wasn't expecting it to be great cinema but I was looking forward to seeing some motorised mayhem. 

  As it turns out, there is not a single car in this film. 

Not one.

The closest you get to a wheeled vehicle is this guy:

    So once again, I've been suckered into buying a DVD that isn't what was promised on the cover. 

  I mean, the post-apocalypse bit was right as is the story basically being about Sol & Cleo wandering around a desert trying to find the Nomad King.  However, instead of being a high-octane thrill-fest, I got one of the weirder movies I've seen lately.

 Two minutes research reveals that this film as originally called "Enemy Empire"  

  Five minutes watching time reveals that this is an odd film.

  When Sol first meets Cleo, he's being dragged into a mechanical people-chipper and she's answering a telephone in the middle of nowhere. After reluctantly agreeing to team up, Sol and Cleo wander the desert bickering and  meeting odd people. 

Sometimes Sol kills them. Sometimes he doesn't. 

But mostly killing them. 

  Mad Max: Fury Road isn't really the right reference point for this film. A better one would be Sandahl Bergman 80s vehicle "She" which is another post-nuke film that gets wacky, although "She" didn't have the downright peculiar ending Furious Road gets. 

 I can pinpoint the moment "Furious Road" nosedived into absurdity.

 I'm pretty certain this is also the exact moment people expecting "Mad Max" action ejected the DVD with a loud cry of  "What is this shite?"

 It gets weirder after that. 

 There are plus points: Sol and Cleo are decent characters in search of a better film and there is a peculiar sort of invention on display. 

 I did like this guy, for instance.

But on the whole "Furious Road" is a low-budget project trying to be clever,  repackaged as something else for easy money. 

How much did I pay for this: 50p

Was it worth it: Well, this was an interesting viewing experience, but since I have an intense dislike of distributors playing me for a mug, and since this film was too strange for it's own good  I'm going to give "Furious Road" a thumbs down. 

 Sol and Cleo wonder what they got themselves into. Me too, guys. Me too. 

The Metal Project: M Is For Metal

 Hello and welcome.  

 Back on Monday I set myself a little challenge: I would do a Metal Project post every day for 7 days.

 I called it "Seven Nights Of Metal" and here we are on the 7th and final night. 

This post is brought to you by the letter M and I tried to mix it up a bit.

Enjoy. 

MetalUSAfer - Heavy Metal Saviour (USA 2014)

 Unpretentious "HM rules" Metal that suggests a promisng band.  

Definitely grows on you. 

Honour to: intothecults

Magnesium - Metal Soldier (Japan 2004) 

NWOBHM  with duelling guitars by way of Japan

Honour to: SabbatLucifer

Metrakillator - Fucking Metal (Spain 2014)

Thrash with a middle finger raised in your general direction. 

Honour to: Metrakillator

Mutation - Speed Metal Bikers (Demo Taiwan 2015)

Full-on Metal that don't need no road

Honour to: Mutation TW

Midnight City - Metal Fever (Instrumental) (Russia 2014)

I'm prepared to break my "no instrumentals" rule on occasion. Like now. 

Honour to: Nergal135

Mortis Daemonium - Anti Black Metal (Italy 2008)

Grim, epic stuff that sounds a lot like Black Metal to me. 
14 minutes long. 

Honour to: Lynch Mary

You know, after that I think I'm going to call it a night.

If anybody wants me, I'll be over here eating ice cream and looking at pics of smiling Corgis.

That's all folks. 

The Metal project: L is For Leather

 Day 6 of the "Seven Nights Of Metal" challenge and we're up to the letter L. 

It's currently 2300hrs UK time which is way too late to be doing something like this. 

So if you see any weird typos - that's why.

Enjoy. 

Leather Warriors - Heavy Metal (Mexico 2013)

Fast-chugging HM

Honour to: Leather Warriors Official

Leider - Heavy Metal (Mexico 2007)

I find it interesting how two bands from the same country can use exactly the same title and come up with something different. 

I love the intro on this Trad HM. Very melodic. 

Honour to: Javier L Aguirre

What the hell, let's have another Mexican band and another song called "Heavy Metal"

Letania - Heavy Metal (Mexico 2008)

More Trad HM. - but still different to the last two.  

Honour to: EL MUNDO DE JESSY saludos

I could probably do an entire post of songs called "Heavy Metal" .
Maybe another day.

Lechery- Heavy Metal Invasion (Sweden 2014)

Hammerfall-ish Heavy/Power Metal

I don't normally post Music vids but this does fit the theme.

. 

Honour to: LecheryMusic

Lady Beast - Heavy Metal Destiny (USA 2015)

There's a lot of female-fronted HM around at the moment and they all seem to be pretty good. 

This lot are well worth keeping an eye on, methinks. 

Honour to: LadyBeast HeavyMetal

Lobotomy - Metal Religion (Malaysia 2012)

Energetic Speed/Thrash

Honour to: 66SpeedHell

Lord - Hell's Fucking Metal (France 2003)

Relentless Black/Thrash 

Honour to: Павел Федорович Смердяков

And finally, by way of enormous contrast...

Lèpoka - Folkoholic Metal (Spain 2014)

Cheery, tavern metal to drink ale to.

Honour to: Lèpoka Folk Metal

Now I'm off to bed. See you in the morning.

That's All Folks. 

The Metal Project: K Is For King

 Hello and welcome to Day 5 of my "Seven Nights Of Metal" challenge. 

Because I'm inconvneiently out of bands beginning with J I shall skip ahead to K

"Hang on a minute" I hear you say "What about Judas Priest?" 

Sorry but I already did them about 2-3 years back.

Anyway, here's a bunch of bands starting with K singing about Metal.

Enjoy. 

 KRÁPULA-HEAVY METAL (Spain 2012)

Honour to: KrapulaMetalBand

Killing Axes - L'enfant du Metal (France 1987)

Straight HM.

Honour to: Rare & Obscure Metal Archives

Vive La France. That is all. 

KZ4! - Con El Metal En La Piel (Argentina 2013)

More Trad Metal

Honour to: BlackieDiego Rock

King Leoric - Metal Poison (Germany 2002)

This post is quite heavy on anthemic HM, isn't it?  Here's another one. 

Honour to: Lord Vexus

Kavera - Força Metal (Brazil 2009)

A short micoburst of buzsaw Thrash  with ...um... Lo-Fi production. 

Honour to: SniderThrash

Konsul - Metal Hammer (Russia 1989)

Back to fist-pumping HM 

Honour to: Oleg K

And finally...

Kamen Rider Girls - Heavy Metal Strikes Back (Japan 2013)

Another one of those melodic all-female bands with a uniquely Japanese sound. 

Honour to: MaximumShooting

That's All Folks. 

The Metal Project: I Is For Inferno

 Hello and welcome. Just in case you've just arrived and you're wondering what the holy hell is going on I shall bring you up to speed.

1. I find songs that have "Metal" in the title and post them in a bid to create the definitive "Meta-Metal" database.
2. At the moment I'm working through the alphabet trying to find bands that fit each letter.

That's it. Ready to read further?

 Great. 

Today's post is brought to you by the letter "I"

Enjoy. 

Infrared - Metal To Metal (USA 1985)

US HM that's a bit of a hidden gem. Shame they only did one single.  

 Honour to: ThePumpyGirl

Infernö - Metal Commando Attack (Norway 2007)

Thrash with some utterly deranged vocals. 

Honour to: Malon Narva

In This Moment - Sex Metal Barbie (USA 2014)

Modern metal is a bit of a rarity on this blog, So's female fronted stuff.

Honour to: KiluaEv

Imortal Perséfone - Macabro Metal Negro (Brazil 2012)

Metal that is Black and Macabre

Honour to: Dede Gore

IronForce - Metal Strike (Greece 2011?)

Manowar-ish Heavy Metal  on a shoestring budget.

Honour to: bratuhaaaa's channel

It's Alive - Metalopolis (Sweden 1991)

Even in 1991 this Funk/Glam Metal song was only "metal" by a very loose interpretation but what the hell, I like to mix things up a bit.

If  I just posted "Brootal" stuff. I'd get bored. Also deaf. 

This is the band where famed pop producer Max Martin cut his teeth before going on to work with Britney Spears.   

Honour to: Ante Radnic

In Action - Heavy Metal (Sweden 1981)

Well if nothing else, today's post has shown that the term "Metal" covers a lot of ground.

This track is 1960s style  Heavy Blues Rock 

Honour to: Rare & Obscure Metal Archives

Iron Steel - Metal Force (Sweden 2003)

Catchy Power Metal

Three Swedish bands from different eras with vastly different sounds. 

That's metal for you. 

Honour to: MetalHeadTrue

And finally...

Iron Kobra - Metal Rebel (Germany 2012)

Teutonic Traditional Metal

Honour to: Iron Kobra

If you liked what you heard, please go check out the channels listed and show them some love.

That's all folks.  

The Metal Project: H Is For HEAVY METAL

 Day 3 of my "Seven Nights Of Metal" marathon and we're now at the letter "H". 

Enjoy. 

Haircuts That Kill - Heavy Metal (Belgium 2011)

 That name?  Not saying a word. 
Music?- Clenched Fist HM

Honour to: haircutsthatKill

HellSpyke - Raw And Barbaric Black Metal (Brazil 2009)

I won't lie to you. Even by BM standards this "song" is a real challenge to listen to. 

Honour to: Marcos Silva

Hellhound - Metal Inferno (Japan 2001)

Slightly manic Heavy/Thrash that pays tribute to the greats.
I do like the bass solo. 

Honour to: Roger Jolly

Hatred - Whores And Metal (Colombia 2009)

Furious & Fast  South American Thrash

Honour to: HatredBandColombia

Harum - Metal Boys (Demo Portugal 1992)

I can see myself listening to these guys in a smelly Midlands pub in 1992 and digging it. 

Honour to: ThrashMetalPT

Hell Satan -Perras Alkohol Metal y Satan (Bolivia 2012) 

Thrash/Black Metal who really go all out with the War Sound FX CD

Honour to: Elver Vasquez

Do you fancy a real blast from the past?

Heavy Metal Army -Heavy Metal Army (Japan 1981)

I like this. It's a bit Uriah Heap and I love the synths. 

Honour to: Sakis Papamargatis

I fancy digging out some more of these guys. It's more my era, I think.

Hellfire - Apocalyptic Metal Punks (Colombia 2013)

Thrash/Punk 

Honour to: Daniel F Fajardo

And finally...

Hexecutor - Metal Witchcraft (Demo -France 2012)

HM/Thrash that cheekily nicks a bit of "Am I Evil"

 Honour to: NoPosers666

That's All Folks

The Metal Project: G Is For Galahad

 Day 2 of my self-imposed challenge to do a Metal Project post every day for a week. 

I just know I'm going to regret this by Thursday. 

Today's selection of Metal goodness is brought to you by the letter G. Enjoy. 

Golden Wolf - Metal With Power (Ecuador 2014)

"True Ecuadorian Evil Heavy Metal"

Honour to: Sr. Norteno

Gehennah - Life Metal Must Die (Sweden 2016)

Alcohol fueled Black/Thrash Metal

Honour to: FB Metal Groups 2

Galaktika Group - Я Метал (I'm Metal) (Russia 1988)

(Fast-paced Soviet Metal)

Honour to: MetalobscurE

Gli Atroci - Rivolta Metalla Totale (Italy 2009)

I'm pretty certain these Italian loons are taking the piss. 

They also nicked the intro to No More Tears while they were at it. 

Honour to: AlexDM88

Galahad - Guerrero Del Metal (El Salvador 2007)

Heavy/Power Metal with outbreaks of the bombastic.

Honour to: Miguel Angel

And with that, we're done for today.

See you tomorrow for "H"

That's All Folks. 

The Metal Project: F Is For Fear

    I've decided to set myself a little challenge. I'm going to attempt a Metal Project  update every day for the next 7 days.

  Among other things, I have a lot of songs I want to post and at my current rate, I'll being doing the Metal Project until Babymetal
announce their retirement tour or my hearing finally dies on me.

 Today's post is brought to you by the Letter "F"  Enjoy. 

Forcer - Heavy Reborn/Spirit Of Metal (Mexico 2015)

This is the sort of thing I was looking for when I began this project. 
Pure "Metal - Fuck Yeah!"  headbanging goodness.
I  approve.

Honour to: Forcer MX

FahrenHate- Feeling The Heavy Metal (Colombia 2014)

No frills Heavy Metal

Honour to: afgo1996

Fearbringer - Immortality Through Black Metal (Italy 2005)

Surprisingly melodic Black Metal

Honour to: Laoch100

Forggoten Rite - Soldiers Of the Raw Metal (Brazil 2014)

A harsher, rougher-edged take on Black Metal

Honour to: Atila Leonardo

Frost Rot - Death To False Metal (USA 2013)

Black/Thrash Metal with a strong current of punky rock n roll

Honour to: ForcesReturn

Flageladör - Missão Metal (Brazil 2014)

Death/Thrash Metal with some trad-metal melodic guitar leads that I rather like

 Honour to: Vënënö Sönörö Records


I think this last one might raise a few eyebrows.

Faced Reality (Feat GBN)- Metal vs Hip Hop (Germany 2008)

Metal  mashed up with electronic German rap/dance that works quite well.

Embedding disabled so here's the link.

https://youtu.be/52-3p_hxQJY

Honour to: suoqainen

The band's myspace is here: https://myspace.com/facedreality

That's all folks. 

Cheapo DVD Reviews: Warhead (1996)

The Plot

  A group of Neo-Nazi militia nutters led by disgruntled US Army officer "General Kraft" are blowing stuff up.

  In a bid to improve their blowing-stuff up capability, the United Patriot Movement, capture a prominent nuclear silo expert. 

   That does not bode well, does it? 

 When a failed attempt at rescuing said results in an entire Special Forces team getting riddled with bullets the lone survivor, Lt Jack Tannen, , goes off to do some sulking, some brooding and some running in slow motion wearing a vest.  

  

 When the expert's photogenic daughter Jessica asks him for help our blond hero tells her to get bent.  But as is traditional, the bad guys try to kidnap her right under his frigging nose and so Tannen gets his hero pants back on. 

 Take a wild guess as to what the UPM are planning? 

  It's a 90s action movie that isn't about druglords and I've already mentioned a nuclear silo expert. Do I need to draw a diagram?  The name of the movie is also a giant, giant hint. 

  The baddies capture a secret nuclear silo that fails at being secret and doesn't do so well at being secure either, before demanding that the President resign - and enough money to fill up a swimming pool. 

 Tannen puts together a team of generic tough guys, shanghais Jessica into coming along - because his team needs a token chick with nice hair - and heads for the silo despite being told not too. Nudge nudge, wink wink. 

  I won't tell you the ending, just in case you still want to watch this movie. 

But if you're expecting anything other than what actually happens then you're probably an idiot. 

    

 What I thought. 

   

The bad guy has a beard and a ponytail. 

I think that tells you all you need to know. 

 "Warhead" is a generic mid-90s action movie with a low/low-middling budget and very little star power.  The biggest name is Joe Lara - who played Tarzan in a tv series so off the grid that Freeview stations don't bother rerunning it- while everybody else is so obscure that they don't even have a cult following. 

 I'm not saying the cast is bad, because most of them do the best with what they have, but this film is already struggling to stand out from pallet-load upon pallet-load of similar films. 

 There's some decent explosions though. And I have to give some grudging respect to any film that features rocket firing jetskis.

 How much did I pay for this: 50p

Was it worth it.  I suppose so. If you like dumb 1990s action movies where the hero has a fistfight in a nuclear silo with a pony-tailed bad guy, "Warhead" may occupy your time in a positive manner. 

Screenshot time. 

 Lt Trannen - All American Hero. Dolph Lundgren presumably not available. 

  Stuff goes bang. Weeeee

  A bloke in a suit from Washington. Complete wanker.  

  Guys who lead rightwing militias are not normally this photogenic. 

He's got all his own teeth, only one chin and a healthy BMI for starters.

  Trannen runs in a vest in slow-mo. 

This shows how much he's grieving for his lost buddies

 You thought I was kidding about the rocket-firing jetskis, didn't ya?. 

Non -Soldier Jessica wonders what she's doing here. 

Also hoping the boat doesn't hit any floating logs because 

that guy behind her knows shit about trigger discipline. 

That's all folks.