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Sunday 5 February 2017

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Guitar Goddesses

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Cataloguing album covers that are sexy, cool or just fun.


 Unfortunately IT issues fragged my update schedule so this is a lot later than planned. Sorry 'bout that. 

  I'm revisiting an old favourite this time around.  Rock and Metal is built around the electric Guitar to a point that's almost religious, so it comes as no surprise when cover artists combine their love of a beautiful girl with their love of a beautiful Gibson. 
 As we frequently find, a simple theme can be interpreted in many different ways. Now plug in and let's get going. 

  Mystica Girls - Veronica The Courtesan From Hell (Mexico 2016)

Sexy cover art girl guitar
  AC/DC said it best: Hell ain't a bad place to be... 

This is the English language version by the way. 
The Spanish cover is sorta cool too - but no guitars so  maybe next time.

Mystica Girls are crunchy HM.
The vid is low-budget but has charm and some nifty lead guitar.

Wild Bitch - Streets Of Danger (Italy 2012)

metal album cover sexy miniskirt
Compared to certain other metal album covers, these streets aren't that dangerous. 
No rampaging mutants, zombies or street gangs and there's not even that much traffic.
The only real hazard is that you might get distracted by her legs.
Sadly this has already happened and he faces an awkward insurance claim. 

Wild Bitch seem to be inspired by 80s Eurometal.


Gibraltar - I'm The One (USA 1986)

There's a surprising amount of "Girls humping guitars" album covers out there. 
She's wearing more clothing than most of the others do. 
Make of that what you will. 

Does anybody else have a weird fascination with chamois leather bikinis? 
I blame early exposure to Axa comics. 

Gibraltar aren't exactly Metal even by 1980s standards being melodic hard rock with lavish synths.


Heart of Chrome - Get Naked EP (UK 2014)

See what I mean?  
She loves her guitar so much she cuddles it like a teddy-bear. 
And still more tasteful than some covers...

As far as I can tell Heart Of Chrome seem to be A) British and  B) possibly defunct. 
A cursory search reveals some pages in German and a deleted facebook.
If you like your Rock raucous with a sweaty, pub backroom vibe you might like this.


Maineeaxe - Shout it Out (UK 1984)

There is so, so much I could say about this cover but I think the words "It was the early 1980s" would explain everything. 
Jesus, somebody desperately needs some heavy duty mouthwash because those gums are a bit of a mess.

Maineeaxe weren't the LA Sleaze rock you'd expect but Yorkshire NWOBHM.
Guitarist Grant Kirkhope later went on to work in videogames with some success.

I might go dig out some more Maineeaxe. They sound pretty decent.


Iron Spell - Electric Conjuring (Chile 2016)

I love this cover a lot. It's like she's leaping into battle, wielding her axe to summon thunder and rawk
and give the bad guys - probably wearing suits- a damn good smiting.  

I would definitely pay to see that film. How come nobody has made it yet?

Iron Spell are Proper HM. 

It's interesting how the choice of theme can affect the bands I post so much.
Some posts end up being dominated by lavish Symphonic Metal, others by sleazy cock-rock and this time around it's leaning heavily towards bands that would have been perfect supporting Accept in 1985. 
Then again the whole point of a cover is to sell the band and that includes giving you an idea of their likely sound. Take that Iron Spell cover.  When you heard the song, did it sound exactly like you'd expect?
There you go. Mission accomplished.  

We're not finished exploring all the ways women can hold guitars yet so let's move ever onward.

Milkin' Hellcows - Babylon (UK 2016)

 If this young lady ever met the lass from Iron Spell's art they'd either be BFFs or fight to the death. 

I think you can tell the difference between Cover Girls that play their guitar and the ones using it for a prop.

Milkin' Hellcows play sleazy, snotty hard rock. 


Twister -Utak nélkül (Hungary 2016) 

Here's a geek test for you.

What did you notice first?
1. The Guitar.
2. The Delorean?
3. The shiny, shiny trousers?

Another cover I rather like. I refuse to feel guilty about this.

Twister are catchy HM.



Time for me to wrap up so I hope you liked this batch of covers and I hope you liked the music too. 

This has been another edition of Heavy Metal Cover Girls. 

That's All Folks. 

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