Cheapo DVD Review: Galaxy Raiders (2016)

  "Rocket ships, rayguns and robots abound in this heart-stopping tale where stellar adventurer Saber Raine is hired to guide three soldiers on a rescue mission to recover a prince and princess abducted from their home world. The trail leads them to a mysterious planet inhabited by strange mutants, Alien outcasts, renegade mercenaries and Sinjin, an evil overlord with sinister plans to conquer the Universe. Can Saber and his allies complete their mission and stop Sinjin from unleashing his wrath across the galaxy?"

  Before I talk about the movie itself there's a couple of things I feel I ought to mention, both directly related to the cover.

  Issue#1 is the prominent billing for Cynthia Rothrock.  While she's credited right alongside Caspar Van Dien  at least he's in the whole movie. Cynthia shows up ten minutes before the end to deliver a few lines of dialogue and then slopes off again. Personally I think that's a bit cheeky but if I'd bought the DVD because I was a big fan of Cynthia Rothrock I would be quite annoyed.

  Issue #2 is about the name of the film. As soon as I picked it up there was something bugging me and I couldn't work out what.  Then I did a bit of research and it clicked.

The original title was slightly different:    

No Cynthia Rothrock, you notice. 

   Leaving aside the fact that this particular cover is a lot less cluttered than the one I ended up with, the immediate question is: Why the change? 

   

 And the answer is easy enough. 

  

  Not only has Star Raiders been repackaged in a cynical bid to cash in on the success of Star Lord, Rocket and co. but the DVD designer even nicked the exact same font, the piss-taking wee bollocks.

  Sod it. I'm going to make a cuppa and wait for my rage levels to drop.

Ahem. Hello again.
You know, I've got halfway down the page and I haven't even started on the movie yet.
That's rarely a positive sign.

  The first thing you notice is that the CGI used for the spaceships is not particularly good.

  That's Kids TV standard. Also a bit silly. 

Better design. Not better CGI, sadly.

  Unfortunately Galaxy Raiders suffers from a bad case of low-budget which explains a lot of other things.

Like the rescue force consisting of three people.

Or the bad guy's army of villainy consisting of  a tiny bloke, and two...things.

In the background you can see one of the villain's ultimate soldiers.

We never see more than two at the same time so cynical me suspects

 that the production team only made two costumes.

Do you want to see what the bad guy looks like?

Here you go.

Looks pretty badass. doesn't he?

Except that he's got the not-remotely badass name of Sinjin

which immediately conjures up images of a gin-sipping upper-class twit.

 Caspar Van Dien and Cynthia Rothrock aside, the cast is made up of people I've never heard of which means the quality of the acting varies from "OK." to "Ouch."  I have a sneaking suspicion that the two Name actors got paid more than the rest combined. 

   It occurred to me afterwards that if you took away the rayguns and rocket-ships you could easily do this same story as a Fantasy film without changing anything else.  Think about. You have a small team of proud warriors recruiting a mercenary to trek through the forest to the hidden lair of a wizard and rescue two kidnapped royals.

 Hero Saber Raine even carries a sword. 

  A guy called Saber who carries a saber (sic). I see what you did there. 

Hmm. I wonder if that's going to pay off later in the film?

Awesome!

I must admit that short as it was, I did like this bit.

    Moving on to positives...

  Caspar Van Dien makes a likeable hero with some attempt at depth and I did enjoy his aforementioned brief scene with Sinjin's leather-trousers wearing sidekick. The two most entertaining characters in the film sparring verbally and physically was fun to watch. 

I would also add that when you get to see what's under Sinjin's mask it's really rather memorable. 

However the ending is a blatant hook for a sequel that may never get made - which annoyed me - and as I mentioned earlier, if you are waiting for Cynthia Rothrock to show up and do something badass you are going to be disappointed. 

  This is all you get. 

You couldn't have her kick somebody in the face?

Not even once?

To sum up: 

How much did I pay for this?  £2

Was it worth it?  I think I paid about a £1 too much. Some Ok moments plus a lot of generic, low-budget filler does not a great viewing experience make.  Never mind the blatant bait & switch. 

Not recommended unless you're a big fan of Sy-Fy originals and that sort of level.