And anybody I haven't mentioned so far
is played by a Russian
Viking brothers Baldur, Thor and Ulfrich have brought their followers (and their girlfriends...) to an island on the edge of the known world, hoping to win glory.
Instead they find themselves facing murderous beasts who are as cunning as they are fierce. With their numbers dwindling and no way to escape, the Vikings can only hope that Thor's visions of a mighty, hammer-wielding warrior will lead them to a weapon that can stop the beasts once and for all.
Basically this film can be summed up as "Vikings V Werewolves." which is potentially a great idea.
I say potentially because the film-makers have neither the resources not the craft to make it work.
Thor:THOTG is particularly badly let down by the creature FX. (Spraypainted blokes in obvious rubber masks or dodgy CGI) In a bid to disguise this, the fight choreographer has the cast mostly hacking away at something just out of shot. However, this approach is not used for the Boss Fight at the end. We get to see the Big bad in all his crap, computer generated glory and dear gods does this battle look silly.
There are other problems. At the risk of sounding shallow, it took me a while to realise that the pudgy guy I thought was the sidekick was really the hero. Zachery Bryan just does not convince as a Viking warrior. Sorry mate.
I suppose I'm also being harsh when I point out that while the central characters speak US English, their supporting cast have a variety of heavy European accents. It's a wee bit jarring.
By the way, the cast would have got thinned out a lot less quickly if they'd refrained from being dumb. (Example: Two characters manage to end up facing away from their opponent in the middle of a fight and promptly get hacked up.)
And if you can't spot the guy who's going to go rogue within about a minute then you must be an Amish who quit the farm last week to see what this whole "Modern life" thing is all about and haven't got used to the idea of moving pictures yet.
(Stick with it. Most films are better than this.)
So, a good idea hampered by being on a shoestring budget with all that entails.
How much did I pay for this: £5
Was it worth it: Well it's watchable I suppose but the it's the sort of thing SyFy put on at 2am to pad out the schedule. Approach with caution and low expectations.