Wednesday, 21 March 2018

Heavy Metal Cover Girls...Offer Temptation

Evening all, and welcome to another edition of Heavy Metal Cover Girls, the series where I post a bunch of album covers and try to find something more intelligent to say than "She's well fit. Hurr durr."

  When I'm putting these together some themes are easier than others. Christ knows I could easily do a weeks worth of "Warrior Women" posts then follow it up with a week of "Angels" and another week of "Female Demons". I also have things like "Mermaids", "Violins" or "women looking a bit sad in a forest" where they aren't quite so common but the theme is recognisable enough that I can easily thread together enough for a post.

Then there's all the covers that I like but struggle to find a theme that fits. I've had stuff sitting in my folder for years, hoping that I can find another 2 or 3 covers that are close enough to justify a post. I suspect some of them may be in there forever.

What I'm edging towards is that in this case the common link is more than a little tenuous.

Women holding out their hand. 

That's it.

I know it's not the most spectacular port I've ever done but now I've put a few together I've realised two things.
1.  One simple idea can lead into all sorts of interesting places, depending on what the artist does with it.
and 2. Much to my amazement I can get two different posts out of this lot. 

For today's post I'm going to stick with those covers where the Cover Girl has her hand out offering something to the viewer.  Don't be surprised if some of these are a  little dark. These are Metal album covers after all. 

Thanks for sticking with that long-winded intro. Now let's get to the art. 

Evadne - The 13th Condition  (Spain 2007)

Are those maggots?

Why are you offering me a maggoty apple you crazy, leaf-wearing naked woman? 
Actually let's talk about your clothes for a minute.
You're wearing leaves - which, by the way, is a good look for you but they're still leaves - and yet somehow you've got full makeup on?
Also, can you please put the damn maggoty apple away?  It's just not gonna happen.
Offer me a pizza and we may be in business.
Just don't put any maggots on it. Or mushrooms. 

Evadne describe themselves as Death/Doom Metal 
If you want music that's harsh but weirdly beautiful you might like them. 

Mortalus - Heart So Black (USA 2018)

No I don't want your heart.
Well... OK I did say that but I was speaking metaphorically.

I just wanted you to love me. I just wanted to stop being so lonely...

I definitely didn't want you to rip your heart out. Who does that?  

And how the fuck are you not dead!

Mortalus are pretty decent Thrash.

Misty Ways - Train Of Lust (Czech. Republic 2014)

I did think she was offering me the next go at the karaoke but she looks a bit...intense doesn't she?

I think I'm still a bit jumpy after the crazy apple lady and crazy heart-ripper lady which is why
I'm not going to take thingie.. and back away slowly.

Misty Ways only have a small amount of music on Youtube which is shame because their Prog Metal sounds interesting.

PS. Anybody else think the woman on the cover looks like an angry Kirsten Dunst?

Dragony - Shadowplay (Austria 2015)

She's not so much "offering" as "flinging" but I like this cover and I've been dying to use it for ages.  So bollocks.   
Maybe she's offering you a slew of possible futures, in which case can I have the one which doesn't have ravening wolves in it? 

I'd also like a future where  a woman with a gaping hole in her chest doesn't  visit me every night whispering "Remember your promise"

Dragony are Power Metal on the right side of Grandiose.

That's All Folks. 

Sunday, 18 March 2018

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Gorgons

Evening All. 

For tonight's short & sweet post I'm sticking with Heavy Metal Cover Girls who are dangerous to know, although in this case the danger occurs the moment you meet their gaze. 

Considering that the Gorgon is one of the most iconic monsters in Western culture, I'm surprised I don't have more of these. However I do have just enough to prove that cover artists can take the same basic premise and come up with very different results. 

Now let's get ready to meet tonight's guests. Just this once I'll be OK if you don't make eye contact. 

Meduza - Now And Forever (Sweden 2002)

heavy metal cover girls Medusa

Saturday, 17 March 2018

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Elegant Demons

Evening all. 

  My break from this blog turned out to be a little longer than I'd originally intended but I hope to make up for it this week.   My plan is to clear out my Cover girls folder  with a series of smaller-than-usual posts.
  Basically, themes where I have just enough covers to make a separate category but not quite enough to justify a big post.

Y'know what. Let me show you what I mean. 

 Female demons are common enough on Metal album covers that I have a ton of them waiting to share but in the process I noticed a few that didn't quite fit in with the others. Instead of being bright red and barely dressed, with batwings sprouting out of their backs and chewing on some body's face, these sexy succubi could more or less pass for human unless you were paying attention. And clearly they had an eye for fashion. 

  Hell not only has the best tunes but apparently has the best shoes too. 

 The Murder Of My Sweet - Beth Out Of Hell (Sweden 2015)

Sexy demon cover, heavy metal cover girls
     The lesson here is that just because she's cute and wearing a nice dress doesn't mean she won't immolate your entire city if she gets bored.

 According to the write-ups this is a concept album.
 I wonder what it's about...

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