In which a guy old enough to know better talks about...stuff.
Including, but not necessarily limited to: Wrestling, Metal, Anime, Books, Comics, Cartoons, Stuff that pisses me off, AOR and songs with "Metal" in the title.
I've been playing with my scanner again. "Playing" in this context meaning " Swearing at it and trying to work out why the bloody thing won't do what I want."
If anybody knows why it insists on blowing every single scan up 300%, I could use some advice.
Or I suppose I could just throw it out of a two storey window and buy a new one that isn't a bastard.
Moving on...
The following are all from the September 1966 issue of Ring Wrestling and hopefully will provide an interesting snapshot into the grappling game of those bygone days.
A crack navy SEAL team is given an astonishing new mission. They are to rescue a team of Navy personnel who were working on a top secret project but ended up stranded in hostile terrain.
Where it gets interesting is that said team went missing in 1949. And the hostile terrain in question?
The Cretaceous.
Before I say anything else let me just quickly give you some important information.
This film is by The Asylum.
If you've encountered their work before then you will know that normal film-making standards do not apply.
To be fair, at first things aren't too bad. You're not in the presence of cinematic greatness but the film is shaping up to be a watchable, low-budget SF affair.
The actors are decent enough, the writing is somewhat cliched but within acceptable parameters and somebody's tried to make these people and their mission something I should care about. So we're Ok so far...
But then, in true Asylum fashion, as soon as the first dinosaur shows up any vestiges of credibility crumble into cheese-scented ash.
The graphics really are appalling. The T. Rex that's the primary threat is like something from a Playstation game. That's a PS1. Among other things, the creature design team gave it comically oversized legs and a definite waddle.
There's also some blatantly-obvious CGI used on the human characters at certain points. It looks crap and I honestly have no idea why they did it., unless the Asylum were hoping to shave some money off their insurance premiums by having sprites do certain stunts.
Other money-saving efforts can be seen in the street scenes once the action moves back to the present day.
There's a frigging great dinosaur stomping about the city - but nobody apart from the heroes seems to have even noticed. Traffic is still flowing normally, as an example. Almost as if The Asylum ran a helicopter over LA at night time and just used that footage.
Speaking of not noticing; at one point the T. Rex - three stories tall, vivid red and apparently wearing the theropod equivalent of enormous clown shoes - casually ambles up to a garbage collection team without an single one of them noticing. It ends badly for them but Darwinism exists for a reason, folks.
I have to admire the cast for trying to do their best and if the FX team weren't using a Nintendo 64 to do their graphics then 100 Million BC might have been significantly more watchable.
How much did I pay for this? 75p Was it worth it? Debatable. Unless you are an afficianado of microbudget Creature Features then I would not advise picking up this DVD.
Hello and welcome to another collection of Heavy Metal Cover Girls, a semi-regular feature where I trawl the internet for album cover art starring lovely ladies - and then post it here for your entertainment.
I might even introduce you to some cool new music too.
Today's selection combines two elements you see a lot in Rock/Metal:
Girls.
And stuff on fire.
It could just be a coincidence but frankly, I doubt it.
Let's start with a cover that's simple but effective.
Firehouse - S/T (USA 1990)
In true Glam Metal fashion, we get a sexy pyromaniac in her nightie.
I must confess to being a fussy eater. When I was a kid I worked out that if I flat-out refused to eat stuff I hated then eventually people would take the hint and stop trying to make me eat it.
Having said that, my palate has expanded over the years to include many things I formerly shunned.
Once upon a time I feared mayonnaise. Now I've come to appreciate the way it complements chips.
And the first time anybody invited me to try a Doner Kebab I remember thinking "It's grey, it's greasy, I don't know what it's made of and I can smell it from across the room. Why are you asking me to eat chemical waste?"
Whereas nowadays I walk into my local kebab shop and they just say "The usual?"
There are, however, a few things I will never, ever touch so long as I have working tastebuds and full control over my own limbs. Here's one of them.
