D is not allowed to weaponise stationery.
D is not allowed to ask if anybody wants a hammer fight
D is not allowed to headbutt his computer
D is not allowed to bite his computer
D is not allowed to call his computer nasty names.
D is not allowed to taunt the fax machine.
The IT team did not "write the software with spoons sellotaped to their dicks" and D is not allowed to say this any more.
D is not allowed to throw chocolate bars into the middle of
the office floor and shout “Fight for it.”
D is not allowed to call his team-mates “Bloody boring” when
they refuse to fight for his entertainment.
D is not allowed to put Black Metal onto the Xmas party
playlist
D is not allowed to sing to himself in the office. It’s not particularly annoying . He just
can’t sing for shit.
D is not allowed his own entrance music.
D is not allowed to add items to the meeting agenda,
especially if they are about building Giant Robot Spiders.
Or whether Rarity is really "the best pony."
D is not allowed to do *that* smile. He knows the one we mean.
D is not allowed to draw sea monsters on the notice board.
Or Dragons.
D is not allowed to draw any
animal on the notice board whether real or mythological.
D is not allowed to tell customers that late return of paperwork will lead to a clown eating their soul.
D is basically not to do stuff that D thinks is funny. even if he is "A bit bored"
That's All Folks.
Have a Great Christmas and I'll see you next year.