1. If you are the same age as I am - and especially if you are the same shape - please keep your t-shirt on. Nobody needs to see it and the only thing worse than having a sweaty, fat bloke bump into you is colliding with a sweaty, half-naked fat bloke.
2. Deodorant is your friend. Having a shower before you come out is also polite. And a few of you apparently need to learn how to wipe your arse properly .
3. Dear Promoters: Putting on the opening band 5 minutes after the door opens pretty much guarantees that they will play their first couple of songs to the bar staff. Congratulations on wasting everybody's time.
4. Dear local bands: Ever wondered why you keep seeing the same faces at gigs? It could be that your mates are the only people who knew you were playing that night. Try putting up a few flyers.
5. Personally I'd like to watch the band rather than engage in a brawl but if you want to mosh, fine by me. But grabbing some poor sod from the crowd and throwing him into the moshpit is a dick move. As is lobbing your half-drunk pint across the room.Knock it off.
And finally:
6. Dear soundmen at metal gigs: For the love of Dio, please learn how to mix properly. When Spinal Tap talked about turning the volume up to 11 they were joking. And dialling the bass up until my fillings vibrate does not constitute a well balanced sound. I'd like to be able to hear something besides the rhythmn section, thank you ever so frigging much. I'd also quite like to be able to hear anything the next day.
Thank you. Now go away and have fun.
I always used to find it irritating that teams of scientist would study sound, then create as perfect a speaker as they possibly could, with the knowledge of many decades, then some idiot would crank up the base and or treble. There are instances where it needs to be tweaked slightly like turning the treble down a bit in hard enclosures for sound, or the base up a bit when your outside, but I can not think of any instance where all the way up makes sense, well except maybe in outer space.
ReplyDeleteThere's always that one drunk guy that insists on pulling others (usually small girls) into the pit. I'm one of those old guys that takes earplugs to shows now. It really helps when the sound guy doesn't know what he's doing.
ReplyDeleteSo it's not just me then. Thank the Holy Badger for that.
ReplyDeleteI know Ted Nugent said "If it's too loud you're too old." but Ted Nugent wears a loincloth onstage and hunts things with a bow. His judgement is a bit suspect.
Now that my sons are in a local band, I attend a lot of gigs. It's very frustrating to have the venue change the order of the bands at the last minute; sort of disrespectful to the musicians. Also, the sound technician is key...the boys complain bitterly about sound guys that have no idea what they're doing. I always bring earplugs because you never predict the volume situation, and besides, most of the musicians are wearing them, too (albeit, theirs are nice custom earplugs). And, poor old Ted Nugent's simply off his rocker...
ReplyDeletetypo... you can never predict the volume situation
DeleteAgree with absolutely all of that. I got caught up in the middle of a bloody mosh pit that erupted around me when I went to see the Foo Fighters.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to punch people!!
:0)
Cheers
PM
Perfectly logical and not grumpy at all! :)
ReplyDeleteYou're a lot of fun :))). Your advice is funny and very useful :). There's nothing grumpy ab you :).
ReplyDelete