You know it's going to be schlock. The producers know you know and don't really care.
Step forward Roger Corman and "Sharktopus". A film about an unfortunate fish that is half shark, half octopus and a probably a bit unsure of its place in the world. Now wonder its so pissed off.
The film opens with a shady bioengineering outfit fieldtesting their new abomination. One mishap later and an expensive project is heading for open water and developing a taste for tourists. Not to worry, they hire a mercenary to help get it back.
Meanwhile a pushy reporter and her reluctant sidekick are chasing a bizarre story about a Shark/Octopus hybrid.
Sharktopus is, let's be honest, a deeply stupid film. The acting ranges from "adequate" to "half-drunk passerby dragged off the beach". The CGI sharktopus can't seem to decide what size it wants to be - one minute big enough to pull a pleasure yacht under the surface, the next, it can lurk in waist deep water. That might explain why the hero spends a lot of ammo blazing away at something three feet away from the actual beastie. Dialogue wise, all the expected cliches pop up and seem to be done with a straight face.
There's also a noticeable tendency for the victims to be young, female and underdressed. To make up for it, the hero develops an allergy to shirts halfway in.
Despite all this, and never being entirely sure whether I'm watching something tongue-in-cheek or really just that corny, Sharktopus is surprisingly watchable and would make a pretty good after-pub flick
I am left with a few questions though:
Why exactly would the US Navy be testing something like this in US waters in close proximity to US citizens?
And what the hell would you want something like this for anyway? Granted Sharktopus is lethal against bikini wearing women but unless you want to cripple a state's tourist trade I can't see them being any kind of priority target.
And lastly...
Eric Roberts is in this. What the hell happened, dude? When the highlight of your recent career is "Dead or Alive" you know something's gone wrong.
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