Sunday, 8 July 2012

Big D At The Movies: Snow White And The Huntsman

  Once upon a time there was a young princess with lips red as a rose, hair black as a crows wing and skin white as snow.  Then one day a wicked witch charmed her way into her fathers life and his bed and then stabbed him with a frigging great knife.
 The kingdom fell and the young princess was locked away in a a tower while the evil queen worked out what to do with her. At long last she decided that the best way to solve her ongoing political problem, and, incidentally, gain eternal youth, was to eat Snow White's heart.
  The news that the young princess had just escaped and was last seen heading into the Dark Forest made the evil witch very unhappy so she shanghaied a drunk and ordered him to bring back the girl while promising all sorts of things she was obviously never going to deliver.
  Luckily for our heroine, he turned out to be not quite the dick he appeared to be and agreed to help.  Even better, some dwarven bandits decided that they wanted to be on Team Snow White as well.
 Now all they had to do was get Snow White to her uncle's fortress and then the good guys can ride forth and inflict some righteous violence.

 As you can tell just from the movie poster this film has  no singing whatsoever.

  Now if I remember  the original story, Snow White gets rescued a lot and that's mainly it.  The huntsman spares her life, the dwarves save her from dying of exposure and the Prince saves her from the spell and then punishes the evil queen. She's a lot more proactive in this version, as befits the 21st century. Alright, so she's maybe not the badass you'd expect from the trailer but still manages to push events rather than being carried along by them and the final showdown is all her.
 There's also an attempt at giving Queen Ravenna some motivation for her actions - she's been hurt in the past and has been getting her own back ever since - although any flashes of sympathy I might have felt evaporated moments later. Maybe it's just me but I get the definite impression Ravenna is a spoilt, spiteful womanchild and not actually that bright.
  The Huntsman, by the way, starts off as a drunken mess and you can actually see him rediscover his self-respect as the film goes by. 

 The most impressive part of the film is the visuals - Ravenna's Glass monsters and the weird and wonderful creatures of the Dark Forest especially. I do take issue with the direction of the fight scenes though. Once again they are filmed so it's hard to keep track of exactly what's going on and that's a real disappointment given that the film is bookended by largescale battles. They are impressive but I'd have been more impressed if the camerawork wasn't making me dizzy.

 As to acting honours, Ian McShane pops up as a dwarf chieftain and just owns every scene he's in.  And considering that Kristen Stewart has become an internet meme for wooden acting, she's pretty decent here. Admittedly she spends a lot of the film with the same slightly-worried expression but when she has to carry a scene Ms. Stewart gets the job done and does it well.
 I have mixed feelings about Charlize Theron's  take on the Evil Queen though. Most of the time it's calm, collected and malignant but then she'll start raving and, as I've already mentioned, it tends to come across like a spoilt teenager throwing a tantrum.

 I have a very simple definition of a good cinema experience. I want to come out thinking "Wow"
"Snow White and The Huntsman" didn't quite manage to make that happen but I did walk out into the rain thinking "Yes. I enjoyed that."
 Worth seeing.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Labels

#HeavyMetal (248) #TheMetalProject (228) Advice (2) Airboy (2) aircraft (27) album covers (116) Alestorm (2) Andrew j Offutt (1) angels (1) anime (22) AOR (10) art and stuff (28) Attractive women. (98) B-reaction (1) Barbarion (1) Beasty Girls (1) Big D is going to lose his temper in a minute. (4) Big D talks bollocks (36) Big D talks bollocks. (38) Big D talks bollocks. aircraft (2) Black Metal (3) blatant fanservice (155) blatant plug (5) BOLOS (1) Books (51) Boston Wrestling 1964 (1) British comics (21) bunny (1) Buses (3) Captain America (1) carrier bags (1) cars (2) cartoons (12) Catgirl Nuku Nuku (1) Catwoman (1) Change 123 (1) Charleston wrestling 1964 (1) Cheapo DVD Review (75) Children (1) Chingford (1) Christmas (4) Clouds (1) comics (31) Dale rambles about stuff. (1) David Gibbins (1) Dejah Thoris (1) dinosaurs (13) dogs (2) doing stuff badly. (1) Dragonforce (1) dreams (1) DUKW (1) DVD artists are lying bastards (23) El Santo (1) Elvis impersonators (1) Eric Roberts will work for food (3) European wrestling 1964 (1) eurovision (20) eurovision Metal Contest (6) fantasy (10) Fathers Day (1) female cyborgs (1) Film (159) films (50) First Squad (1) FROGS (1) gardening (1) German Comics (3) Getting started. (1) Ghosts (1) gig (3) Goolie abuse (4) gorgons (1) Grappling Gertie (4) Green Lantern (1) Guest post (2) Hard Gay (1) Harley Quinn (1) Hawkgirl (1) Heavy Metal Artwork Blog (123) Heavy Metal Blog (96) Heavy Metal Cover Girls (97) History (3) Horror (31) Islamic Metal (1) Judge Anderson (2) Kobra And The Lotus. (1) Lawnmower Deth (2) Lesbian Bed Death (2) List (16) Lords Of The Trident (3) Manga (11) marrow fighting (1) Martial Arts (14) Maryland wrestling 1964 (1) massive shoulderpads (1) Matthew Reilly (2) men's issues (6) Merlin (1) metal (331) Metal Christmas (1) Metal songs about metal (229) mimi hagiwara (1) MinamICon (1) Mind Wars (1) models (19) monkeys (2) Monsters Of Rock (2) MRAs (1) museums (9) music (33) music from the weird aprt of Youtube (3) music from the weird part of Youtube (4) music that gets under my skin. (2) Neil Peart RIP. (1) Nice cover (2) Nicholas Eames. (1) Night Fighters (1) Nightside (1) Noot noot (1) NWOBHM (3) Oatcakes (1) Olympics (1) photos (3) pinup (1) ponies (6) Portsmouth (13) Power Girl (2) power metal (1) puroresu (2) Rain (1) rant (19) Redheads (7) Roswell Conspiracies (2) rules (2) Sci-Fi (46) sexy witches (7) shame about the book. (2) Sharktopus (1) ships (1) Sigismund (1) silliness (1) Southampton (1) Southsea (15) Southsea Food Festival 2022 (1) spiders (1) Spitfires (4) Sport is bollocks (1) Starblazer (1) Stockings (1) Storm Eunice 2022 (1) Story (9) Strike Witches (1) Strip magazine (1) Stuff with armoured cars (1) Stuff with axemurdering lumberjacks (1) Stuff with B36 Bombers (1) Stuff with big flying lizards (12) Stuff with Black Metal Catgirls (1) Stuff with blokes in kilts. (2) stuff with cute banshees. (2) Stuff with enormous birds (1) Stuff With Flying Fruit (1) Stuff with Giant Crabs. (3) Stuff with giant Germans singing about sausage. Music from the weird part of Youtube. (1) Stuff with Girls In Eyepatches (3) Stuff with Gladiators (8) stuff with kickboxing teachers. (1) Stuff with killer cricketers (1) Stuff with Killer Rabbits (1) stuff with killer snails (1) Stuff With Killer Unicorns (1) stuff with Maoris (1) Stuff with mermaids (1) Stuff with Nazi Vampires (3) Stuff with Ninjas (3) Stuff with Psycho Coppers (1) Stuff with Robot Maids (1) Stuff with Roller Derby (1) stuff with rollerskating Muses (1) Stuff with soulsucking mummies. (2) Stuff with strippers (3) Stuff with talking statues (2) Stuff with Vikings (3) Stuff with violent clowns (1) Stuff With Walking Fish (2) Stuff with weird Kiwis (1) Stuff with werewolves (5) Stuff with Wolves (1) stuffed animals (1) Stupid films about sharks (10) Synthwave (4) tanks (5) Tarkan (1) Taya Valkyrie (1) Terrible Metal Album Covers (28) Terrible songs (1) Terry Pratchett. (1) The Band (1) The Hangover pt 2 (1) The Lost Fleet (1) The Metal Project (226) Thundercats (1) Ticket Tales. (1) Top Ten (6) Toy soldiers (9) Truffle (1) Turkish films (2) Ultimate Metal Playlist (9) Valentine (2) Valkyrie (2) Vampires (8) videos (1) voyager (1) War Films (4) Warships (1) weird crushes (5) weird shit (8) White Pigeon (1) women in blindfolds (2) Women with Scythes (1) women with spears (5) women with swords (54) women with wings (7) women's wrestling (50) womens wrestling comics (13) womens' wrestling movies. (1) Wrestling (34) Wrestling Books (5) Wrestling Magazines (15) wrestling October 1964 (1) WTF? Japan (10) WW2 (1) Yamato (2) you do this shit deliberately don't you? (1) Zombie Films (6)