Monday, 29 October 2012

Terrible Metal Album Covers Chapter VII

Another slack handful of artwork from the file labelled "Christ on a bike, who drew this dreck?"
Terrible metal album cover
 Hypnotica - La Rebelion Del Ser (Colombia 2010)
This isn't too bad until you get to the bottom and realise that our unfortunate hero was born with his hips in entirely the wrong place. And what the hell happened to his nose?
awful metal album cover
Velvet Viper - The 4th Quest For Fantasy (Germany 1992)
 Err...is that rock having a fag?
A quick trawl through Youtube reveals a pretty decent Power Metal band so they really 
deserved a better cover than this.And dear gods, could that logo be any cheesier?

Godawful metal album cover
 Artillery - Terror Squad (Denmark 1987)
 Out of proportion coppers, a mad dentist  and a tooled up monk  
use a giant rat to hunt down bad guys.
Not so much Terror Squad as "Wacky Hijinx Squad"
I look at this picture and I imagine This  playing in the background.

Awful metal album cover
Damien - Stop This War (USA 1989)
Too many Metal album covers are dictated by 
drunk guitarists having this sort of conversation
 "Hey you know what would be an awesome cover?" 
 "Let's have fighter planes...except the noses are...eagles!"
"Nah, dude, Dogs are way more metal."
"Ok..big dogs, big mean dogs!"
"And we can have them dropping LPs. It'll be symbolic."
"Symbolic of what?" 
"What?"
"What will the symbolism be of, exactly?"
"War...and..Metal and ..fighting against the man! Yeah! It'll be a political statement dude."
"Damn, we're artists and we're revolu...revul... political dudes, man. Cool. Now somebody get me more tequila and a bag of onion rings."

Bloody awful metal covers
Repression - Germany Rocks 1990
Can you work out what the head of this thing is supposed to be? 
Maybe it's some sort of Rorschach test.
Or the artist spilt some Tippex and decided to try and salvage what he could.

 Marchello - Destiny (USA 1989)
If art gives you an insight into the artist's psyche then guy who came up with this had some ...interesting...issues. 

Fate Angel - CII966856 - USA 2010
Another MS Paint abomination. 
I suspect the band are gleefully teabagging the rest of the world  and their fans especially.

That's it. I'm going to bed. This is just getting too bloody stupid.


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