Terrible Metal Album Covers Chapter 16

  As you may have guessed by now I love Hard Rock and Heavy Metal. I love the energy, the enthusiasm and the way bands and fans have spent 40+ years (metaphorically) dropping  trousers to wave their buttocks at the self-appointed arbitrators of "Cool."
   However...
  Sometimes you just have to admit that the cover artwork fell off the cliff into the Dread Valley of  Crappiness.
  Today's posted pics are all united by the  band looking like utter wassocks. Sorry guys, you know I speak truth.
  

Vice - Made For Pleasure (Ger 1988)

A cover that's essentially trying to say "We aren't satanic. We're all about the partying, dude."

I don't really understand why two of them are in mind-air for some reason.

Since there doesn't seem to have been a follow up, maybe whatever the Skater-Dude was pointing at landed on top of them.

The Great Kat - Worship Me Or Die (USA 1987)

The classically trained Katherine Thomas demonstrating why she held the crown of "Most bonkers woman in Heavy Metal"

  Her later albums involved marrying classical compositions to frenzied Speed Metal shredding but surely the highlight of her career must be her appearance (as a cardboard cutout) in a Robin Hood themed photocomic starring Nottingham loons Lawnmower Deth.

Swedish Erotica - Blindman's Justice (Sweden 1994)

Strike one: Naming themselves after an infamous porn distributor.

Strike two: Using Tesco-band editing software to create the CD cover.
Strike three: One of them seems to be wearing shorts and a cagoule. 

On such things do careers founder

Obus - Dejarse La Piel (Spain 1986)

 Legendary Spanish rockers attempt to attract more women to their shows by ramping up the Sexy.

Ladies, you tell me whether it worked or not. 

 

Moravsky Andel - Hraci Se Smrti (Czech. Rep 2002)

"Yeah, we'll use Greenscreen and photoshop to make you look really cool, don't worry." said the design team.

Lying bastards. 

Naturally I had to go and see what the band sounded like.

They aren't bad, actually.  

Malisha - Serve Your Savage Beast (USA 1986)

 Vocalist Kim la Chance is apparently quite well regarded as a key member of  cult bands Hawaii and Vixen (Not Janet Gardner's hairspray queens).
So she really deserved better than this monstrosity.

And finally

Hammerhead - Seduction Suite (Australia 2008)

No. No. No. No. No. No. No

NO!

 

That's all folks.