Monday 17 August 2015

Cheapo DVD Review: Morning Star Warrior (2014)


  The back cover blurb bears very little resemblence to the film I just watched so I'm not going to waste my time posting it, or insult your intelligence by expecting you to read it.
 What's really weird is that there's about 3 different blurbs for this floating about the net and none of them match up to each other or the actual sodding film. I smell a big rat.

Whatever. On with the writeup.

 When I originally picked this up I was looking for something with minimal effort required on my part and I must admit, while seeing "In The Name Of The King"  emblazoned on the DVD cover would make sensible filmbuffs run away screaming, I immediately thought "Well, I sort of enjoyed that film, let's check this out."
 . I wasn't looking for anything resembling quality cinema - just some cheesy fantasy fun with a decent bit of violence and hopefully some boobs.

 "Morning Star Warrior" does have some punchups, It even starts with some reenactors hacking each other about a battle. And there's some boobs show up about halfway through.

But when it comes to "Fun", I really, really got the wrong film here.

Our hero wakes up on a battlefield, discovers his best mate among the fallen and resolves to take his body home. Along the way he encounters various people. Some he talks to. Sometimes he kills them. Sometimes he just has visions instead.
 The whole thing is very slow-moving and a bit dreamlike. More so once you get the sudden reset halfway through.
Then you get to the ending which is just strange. 

If you want a comparison, I'd suggest some of the spacier Arthurian films - "Gawain And The Green Knight", The Grail Quest bits of "Excalibur". That whole sense that the journey wasn't just getting from A to B but significant in itself. But done in a hamfisted manner.

 I honestly could not work out what the hell I was watching, or indeed whether it was any good or not.

I do know that the minimal dialogue was stiff,  clunky, wannabe "Deep, man" nonsense.

I also know that I found myself watching the whole thing, waiting for it to click. It never did but there I was, curiously fascinated and bewildered at the same time. .

How much did I pay for this: £2.50
Was it worth it: "Morning Star Warrior" is one of the more unusual things I've seen lately, although "Unusual" is not the same thing as "Good" Approach with great caution. 

3 comments:

  1. Nope, I'm giving that one a miss thanks.
    This definitely falls into the "Big D watched that, so I don't have to" category.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...and "From the producers of..." is always a dead give away that it's rubbish.
      I'm surprised you don't see more cheapo shit with "From the gaffer and best boy that bought you.." and "The boom operator from ______ brings you...." strap lines.

      Delete
    2. I like to think I'm doing valuable work here. Every person I warn away from picking up low-budget, low-effort, cynically mispackaged tosh like this, is another soul saved.

      Delete

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