Saturday 7 September 2019

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Metal Amazons

 I've been a bit fed up lately but I think I know what will cheer me up and hope fully make your world a little bit shinier.  Attractive women in impractical armour wielding swords. Possibly while riding animals that no sane person would even go near.

Yep. It's time to dust off the Heavy Metal Cover Girls tag. It's been a while, hasn't it?   

Once again I'm going with the theme "Warrior Women" because as it turns out, lots of people like the idea of sexy female warriors and lots of them are in metal bands. Luis Royo alone must have made a few bob out of CD cases. 


Smoulder - Times Of Obscene Evil And Wild Daring (USA 2019)


This is one of those covers that makes you wonder at the story being told.
A beautiful but fierce woman brandishing a sword that apparently cuts reality menaces a tied up man .
Why is she so mad at him?
And why is the horse terrified of a wall?

Mjolnir - Whispering Sorcery (NL 2000)

I though Valkyries were generally more solidly built and wore winged hats.
I bet she can't even sing soprano.

Having said that, if this young lady turned up to collect your soul would anybody object?

"I'm ready to be taken to Valhalla now."
"But you're..y'know..not actually dead. Also you're a baker."
"Gimme five minutes. Just off to punch that berserker in the dick."


Beast In Black - From Hell With Love (Finland 2019)

Your definition of Love is a lot different from mine. 


Claymorean - Unbroken (Serbia 2015)

The Dark Lord's favourite general celebrates another victory.
The Dark Lord's general is now looking forward to a nice hot bath to wash away the stink of blood and winged hellbeast.
They look metal as fuck  but their fur brings her out in a rash.


Europica - Part One Hungary (2017)

 I've decided that the blonde in the white dress is some sort of Goddess, which is why she's riding a white, Aurochs.
Is it just me or does that Aurochs look very pleased with himself?
He clearly thinks he's the star of this picture and ya know what - I think he's right.    

Booxe Control - The Lizard Rider (Germany 2016)


Oh come on. using a frigging Assault rifle is just cheating.

Let me know if there's any themes you want to see and I'll see what i can do.

That's all folks. 

1 comment:

  1. Gotta love the dangerous pretty women mounted on mythical creatures backs. I really miss the old days when I was young of going into a record store and seeing such amazing album covers.
    Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete

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