My Dream Kitchen

 Like a lot of people I love playing the "What if I won the lottery" fantasy in my head.  

The usual...

What would I buy first?

What sort of house would I buy? 

Would I pay somebody to track down certain people and belabour them with a pillowcase filled with pineapples?

To which the answers are, respectively: a big, big pile of books, somewhere old and with character with lots of space for books and definitely not because that would be legally and morally wrong *chuckles nervously*

But then I got on to the subject of "Assuming I had my dream house - what would my dream kitchen look like?" and I think my views might differ slightly from most people. 

I know I'm supposed to want something stylish; either something all spotless white and polished metal, or maybe something cosy and traditional - wooden beams and dangling herbs and stuff. 

 The big problem with either of these is that they're designed for people who like cooking...

...which I don't. 

I'm not good at cooking and truthfully 95% of the "cooking" I do is heating stuff up.

  I like eating nice food but personally I find that food tastes much nice when it isn't me cooking it. Literally. I am a terrible cook and I am amazed that I've never had botulism by now. 

  The point being, a snazzy, all-mod-cons designer kitchen would be wasted on me in the same way that running shoes are wasted on manatees.  

So it occurred to me that if I could afford my dream house an the 30,00 books I want to put in it, I can afford to have somebody else do my cooking for me. 

 No, I don't mean hiring a  cook because then I have another person in my house that I have to deal with.  I'm talking about takeaways.

 Takeaways are my kind of cooking. I give somebody money, they give me food. I don't even have to let them in over the doorstep and the entire interaction consists of "Hello. here's your food." followed by  "Thank you" before I close the door and go back to being a recluse. 

 Washing up is somebody else's problem so it just gets better. 

So here's what my dream kitchen looks like:

1. Microwave. (For heating leftovers)

2. Fridge (For milk, soft drinks and maybe some ice cream)

3. Kettle (Tea and coffee)

4. Cupboard with things to make tea and coffee  and maybe some nice biscuits. 

That's it.  Nothing more required and I bet it's easier to keep clean than whatever James Martin has. . 

So, what does YOUR dream kitchen look like?