Sunday 11 June 2023

Heavy Metal Cover Girls- With Arms Wide Open

 Hello everybody

 Sorry I haven't been posting much lately but remember that time Blogger deleted my blog and when I finally got it back, all my daily pageviews were in the toilet? Well,  turns out that dented my enthusiasm a bit.

 But I promised myself I'd be a bit more active this week so here we go with another episode of Heavy Metal Cover Girls. If you haven't seen any of these before  then the idea is this: I post a collection of Metal/Rock album covers linked by a loose theme and try to say something about each one. Don't expect in-depth analysis, more like shallow snarking and blatant fanservice.  

So what's the theme today?  

Since the weather is really good at the moment, my original plan was to go with "Cover Girls enjoying the sunshine"  Turns out that there are surprisingly few of those in Heavy Metal  but I did find something else I've never done before.  


 What I'm doing this time around is "Cover girls with their arms outstretched to the side". Call it T-Posing, call it the Jesus Christ Pose call it the "Whee, I'm an airplane" pose, there's different reasons to throw the arms open wide. Hopefully deodorant has been applied beforehand. 

 Dark Sarah - My Name is Luna (Single? Finland 2020)


Dark Sarah I am Luna

A basic T-pose to start off with. 

I quickly found out that there's lots of variations.


Bunch of Bunk - Fearless (2022 Netherlands)


Bunch of Bunk - Fearless

Queen of The World!
Now get down from there at once young lady.


Sirenia - Arcane Ancestral Aeons (Norway 2018)

Sirenia Arcane Ancestral Aeons

Seems a bit overdressed for a sun salutation so right away my mind jumps to something sinister.
The snake doesn't help.  

Believe me, it can get even darker from here.


 Immortal Guardian - Psychosomatic (USA 2021)

Immortal Guardian - Psychosomatic
 
Does it still count as a T-Pose if they're kneeling? 
Again, definitely getting the idea that there's some sort of ritual going on. 


 Yet Again - Revival (USA 2022)


 Either this is a baptism taken to the next level or she's decided to offer herself to the Shark God.
 A lot more serene than the cover girls we normally see on here. 

For example...

Maddax- Speed Demon (Compilation - USA 2022)

Maddax - Speed Demon

 Nothing serene about this young lady at all. 
This is not so much a "Jesus" pose as "Viking Goddess did a bunch of speed and is about to go axe-crazy on some motheruckers."

Even after I decided to restrict this post to women with their arms at a 90 degree angle, there were still lots of variations.  The next two come from the subset "Jesus Pose - but floating!"


Godiva - Destruction (Switzerland 2007)


 You can already hear the Ominous Latin Chanting, can't you? 


Manegarm - Legions of the North (Sweden 2013)

Manegarm - legions of the north
 
 Some of these album covers give off the vibe of a ritual - crying out to the gods.
This is what you get when they answer and it ain't pretty. 


Newman - The Art Of Balance (UK 2010)

Newman The art of balance

Admit it, you thought she was floating too, didn't you? 

And finally...


Tulip - The Witch (EP)  (Germany 2021)

Tulip - The witch EP

When you decide to invite frigging Cthulhu along to the family gathering. 

 With a bit of luck I'll upload some more covers this week. 

 That's All Folks

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