When one decides to become evil and seizes the stone, the good guys decide to call in that international man of mystery ... SANTO.
There's some other stuff about a "Jungle Girl" who is rather disappointingly dressed in a demure white frock rather than a fur bikini and she's apparently getting married to a Chinese prince.
I think.
So, you would expect Santo to arrive on the scene fairly quickly, what with the fate of the Stone, the kingdom and two hot women at stake. Not really. The first half of the movie has Santo and unfunny sidekick getting off a flight, onto a boat, onto another flight and then onto another boat just to get to where the good princess lives. But since she's already buggered off, Santo and co. end up on yet another sodding boat. Luckily this lets him arrive just in time for the climax.
Just so you don't think you're watching a travelogue, there are a fights en route, as the bad guys try to stop him. None of them last very long or excite interest, although the mook falling into a propeller and getting bisected is a bit different.
Honestly, if there's anybody who's really the star of this film it's the voluptuous Grace Renat pulling double duty as good princess Queria and bad girl Kungyan.
See if you can tell which is which here?
Whereas wholesome Queria is there to be in peril, Kungyan gets to show off her...
Voodoo Dance Moves!
Now let me remind who who the star of this movie is supposed to be;
To be fair, Santo does look pretty good for a 62 year old. And he does get into some action as the evil Kungyan uses her magic to try and stop him.
First she changes herself into ..whatever the fuck this is supposed to be.
Of course he fails because Santo is Santo and this is just a dude with the fluff off a barbershop floor glued to him. Then Kungyan becomes a tiger. Although this is not as menacing as the director was hoping.
Personally I'd have advised Kungyan to jsut send a few blokes with M-16s but whatever.
Finally Santo clashes with our buxom villain's big, bad henchman
Wearing a dark visor indoors in dimly lit cave. No wonder you got your ass kicked, mate.
Exit Kunyang to rethink her plans and hiring strategy, before coming back for the sequel.
The Star Of Great Power is returned to the lady who will use the power for good rather than turning into crap monsters and everybody is happy.
As you can probably guess, there are bits I liked about this movie and by "bits" I mean "watching Grace Renata enthusiastically jiggling" Otherwise, the story is thin and padded out, the action is lacklustre and Santo almost arrives late for his own movie.
At no point is there anything remotely resembling a "Fist Of Death"
To sum up: If you like voodoo dance moves then this is the film for you. If you like Luchasploitation movies then Santo's earlier stuff is probably a better bet.
No comments:
Post a Comment