Heavy Metal Cover Girls: On Heavenly Wings.

  Hello and welcome to another edition of Heavy Metal Cover Girls. A series where I look at Rock & Metal album covers starring attractive young women, usually wearing something impractical.

 As of the last time I checked, I've done 70+ of these so far and still have hundreds more covers to post, so whenever I'm running short on ideas I can always whip out a bunch of buxom, metallic amazons waving broadswords about.

 I could post album covers with landscape paintings, or Vikings, or fighter jets but frankly I'd rather post a cover that has landscape + pretty girl, pretty girl flying a fighter or pretty girl who is also a Viking.
Shrugs. Everybody has their interests. This is one of mine.

  I realise the intro was a little longer than usual but there's a reason for that:

As happens a lot, I had no idea what the theme was going to be until just now.  

 I have decided that today's theme is going to be those heavenly enforcers of Divine will, those protectors and punishers of Humanity, those women who find it impossible to get bras that fit properly due to certain anatomical peculiarities... Angels.

Age Of Dust - Messenger In A Soulless World (Spain 2015)

 

  This is one of the nice, New Testament angels so nobody is getting smited this time around. 

Having said that, if a glowing woman with wings pops up while you're on a snowy mountaintop somebody is probably in trouble

 ... and I'm afraid it's you.  

Youtube ads are just taking the piss now.

 I'm going to go on record as saying that I'm not a big fan of Youtube ads. Intellectually I'm aware that the the site and the video creators need funding, and that adverts are required for this.

  That's my head talking. What my heart says when I have to sit through another painful Lilly Singh advert before I can watch some parkour fails is unprintable until somebody comes up with Black Speech keyboard.   I also wonder who thinks that when I want to watch a new Metal video, what I'd really be interested in seeing first is 30 unskippable seconds of twee indie-pop.

Don't even get me started on adverts midway through a video. "What the fuck?" barely covers it.

Today, however... today marks the point at which Youtube ads cross over into whole new realms of fuckwittery.  Because today is the day I decided to watch the trailer for upcoming disaster-fest Geostorm and had to sit through another trailer first.

A  trailer for Geostorm.

 That's right, my pretty marsupials. The bots that run Youtube decided I had to watch the exact same trailer that I was going to watch anyway, only without the option to skip. 

 The only way that could be any more up its own arse would be if the trailer stopped midway through so I could watch a trailer for Geostorm while a pop-up ad for Geostorm suddenly covered half the screen.  I pray I am safely dead before things get that bad. 

And Geostorm looks a bit stupid anyway.

That's all folks.