Friday, 14 February 2014

Heavy Metal Cover Girls...And Guys

  In honour of Valentine's Day I thought I'd post a selection of covers where the ladies have brought along their Significant Others.

 Admittedly they all seem to be clutching weapons rather than roses and chocolates.

 Isn't it great when a couple have the same hobbies?

Aztra - Tierra Libre (Ecuador 2004)

Aztra album cover
Among their other accomplishments the Maya invented Bodybuilding and the microbikini.
Fact. 

Barsoom - Under The Moons Of Mars (Russia 2006)

John Carter Metal Album Cover
Staying faithful to the classics I see.

Claymore - Lament Of Victory (Serbia 2013)

I do like this one.
 A warrior king and his beautiful, fierce warrior-queen contemplate the future 
while his faithful...whatever that thing is...stands guard. 

Death Dealer - War Master (USA 2013)

Battle on Metal album cover.
He got through  6 personal assistants before it occurred to anybody that they might need armour too. 

Elders Of The Apocalypse - The Law Of Iron (USA 2011)

Cavegirl metal album cover.
Betcha she's wondering if she can nick a bit of his cloak to make herself a nice bra. 

Fans of 80s Fantasy flicks may recognise that pic.

Topless cavegirl

Gates Of Ishtar - The Dawn Of Flames (Sweden 1997)

Topless warrior woman
Anybody else notice that the perspective is all to cock on this one?
Stop looking at the boobs and look at the guy with the axe on the left hand side. 
See what I mean? 

Messiah's Kiss - Prayer For The Dying (Germany 2002)

What were you expecting to see here, exactly?
As a refreshing change, a couple that are managing to enjoy themselves without bloodshed. 
Don't try this position at home. You will do yourselves a mischief. 
Disregard if you do happen to have wings and exemption from the laws of gravity.

V/A - Metal Essentials (Year & country a bit of a mystery.)

Topless bloke with guitar and beer.
A brave attempt to create the most Metal album cover ever.
Muscular bloke - check (With wings so bonus points there)
Naked redhead - check
Beer - check
Motorbike - Check
Snake-Check
Skulls - Check
Flying V - Check 
I'm sure if they really tried they could have fitted a dragon or a tank in there somewhere. 
Better luck next time, lads.

Shadows Of Steel - Second Floor (Italy 2002)

Woman in gold mask.
At midnight she's going to get a bit of a shock.
She thinks he's going to take his mask off... 

Unleash The Archers - Demons Of The Astrowaste (Canada 2011)

"Stop showing off, you prat. You'll fall off and I'm not dragging your armour-wearing ass home."

That's all folks.

Wait..one last thing.

If you enjoyed this collection of album covers then take a look up at the top of the page.
There's a tab there for "Album covers"
Feel free to have a browse through my older posts.  

18 comments:

  1. Interesting post! I enjoyed the Messiah pic the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The artist is good, isn't he?

      I'm willing to bet that the band just saw a pic they liked in a fantasy art book and nicked it. Luis Royo gets used a lot.

      Delete
  2. My goodness BigD...nice to see your romantic side.
    Cheers, ic

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh deary me, that Metal Essentials cover is awful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Trying too hard, maybe?

      Also, is it just me or is the redhead looking bored to death?

      Delete
  4. Yes, the couple on the Messiah's Kiss album are definitely defying gravity. I don't think that position would work even if they were obeying the laws of physics unless, um...oh well. Out of all of these covers, I like Aztra the best. Nice artwork. You're absolutely right about the perspective being all off on that Gates of Ishtar cover!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Aztra cover looks like something that might sit well in a grown-up art gallery.

      Meanwhile the Gates Of Ishtar cover is obviously bits lifted from other artwork and pasted into one shot. Cheeky.

      Delete
  5. Big D, your tastes in art, music and women are definitely bigger than life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I fall into the category "I know what I like." And what I like isn't subtle.

      Mind you, if you do like the more refined things in life then all glory to you. Me, I like films with stuff exploding, music with cranked up guitars and comics where beautiful women wield broadswords.

      Delete
  6. Big D, I see you have a romantic side! Your captions on these covers are always priceless. I see exactly what you mean on Gates of Ishtar! I like Messiah’s Kiss, very artsy and sans bloodshed (and yes, not a position to try at home!). Somehow Shadows of Steel reminded me of Beauty and the Beast. Your caption on Unleash The Archers had me laughing out loud! Enjoyed your post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you liked them Lil. I really failed to ask the obvious question Shadows of Steel though.

      Why is she wearing more on her knees than the rest of her body put together? Maybe when she's not hanging around Lion-Men she is a roofer by trade.

      Delete
    2. LOL, roofer by trade, I like that!

      Delete
  7. Thank you for enlisting Claymore's cover on your blog, Big D! :D
    Best regards from Claymore! \m/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you very much. I do think that's a really cool album cover. Who's the artist?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's a long time friend of mine, Dusan Markovic. You can check his art here: http://dusanmarkovic.deviantart.com/

      Delete
    2. And again, thank you. You know, I think you've just given me an idea for my next post.

      Delete
    3. Haha, great! :D

      Delete

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