Saturday, 7 June 2014

Cheapo DVD Review: Orc Wars (2013)

AKA: "Dragonfyre"  

Traumatised ex-soldier John Norton just wanted a patch of land to call his own and a peaceful new life.
  Unfortunately for him, John's new farm came complete with its own portal to another world and he started getting trespassers.
  The elven princess wasn't too much of a problem. It was the horde of large, angry Orcs that came after her...


  If I were to sum up this film in one sentence it would be "Orcs v Mid-West Gun Nuts"

 The end result isn't high-end cinema by any means. Thanks to budget issues, you only ever see  a handful of Orcs at any one time and they mostly come across as too stupid for their own good.   A tendency to stand there gawping does make life easier for our motley collection of heroes. As it turns out, fantasy armour does jack shit against a .50 cal sniper rifle.
  The writers also couldn't seem to make up their minds whether Princess Aleya is a badass warrior or a panicked damsel so she skips back and forth between the two depending on what  the scene requires.

  On the plus side, the Orc makeup is top-notch, the cast are halfway decent  and the whole thing moves along in a satisfying, if occasionally daft, manner. Suffice it to say, John and co. have a secret weapon and it's a doozy.
 There's a lot of fantasy out there where the hero gets dumped into the middle of  an AD&D campaign, so it is a refreshing change to see the bad guys having to deal with our world for a change.

 If you like low-budget fantasy and ever wondered what might happen if Aragorn had access to machine-guns, it is entirely possible you could enjoy this.
  Watch with a few beers and the understanding that this isn't Tolkien.

Trailer here.


5 comments:

  1. Finally.....a film with everything that matters BigD:
    an arthouse orc western nonetheless
    Cheers, ic

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a theory. Somebody bought a job-lot of Orc makeup & armour then in the next auction, got hold of some props left over from The Expendables.
      "Hmm. How can we use these in the same film? "

      Stranger things have happened.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
  2. Watch out for those Orcs, in particular the angry ones! Well, that trailer with the combination of Orcs, the West, guns and swords, was entertaining in itself. Btw, the guy at the beginning of the trailer standing in the shadowy doorway with the black hat reminded me of Clint Eastwood in his Western movies. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet Clint Eastwood wouldn't take any nonsense from Orcs.

      Delete

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